8 years old. i was popular in high school because, to the astonishment of both my colleagues and my teachers, i failed pre-algebra sixteen times. later, i would end up swallowing a whopping three grams of crack rock when i thought the police were at my door. it turned out to be the mailman.

left my life and my wife behind in india to pursue a career in competitve overwatch. when i failed i became a butler of sorts to, you guessed it, bill fricking deblasio. can you believe that?