It all started with what I like to call, THE FLASH. I was sitting with my wife, god rest her soul, sipping on sweet lemon tea. I believe it was homemade by my sweet wife, God rest her soul. Or wait... Maybe she bought it from the store in a bottle. You know, like a plastic bottle? Well hold on now, that would be ridiculous to buy a bottle of sweet lemon tea, then transfer the contents into a glass. Why not just drink it from the bottle? I guess maybe so she could put ice in the glass? But then again, making tea homemade would be just as time consuming, if not more! That sneaky ♥♥♥♥♥... Anyway, I'll save that story for later! So, I'm sitting on my porch drinking sweet lemon tea. From a glass of course, ho ho! When suddenly... A great strangeness fills my body... Something was wrong... I've lived many years, and I've never felt something like this before. Do you know what it was? Yup! It was my rocking chair! That wooden son of a gun stopped rocking! So I looked down and realized a little rock had gotten caught beneath my chair! So what a day! So I'm sitting there, sucking on a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ horse's ♥♥♥♥, sucking down ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ lemonade. And I'm thinking to myself " Why isn't my wife a horse? Right? Why isn't my wife a horse? Was it my bank account?.I'm a tall guy, I workout.. Is that not enough? Now my neighbor at the time, Tom ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, he was very short. His wife, Karen ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, one of THOSE women.
Anyway my horse climbs into bed, god rest her soul. She turns on her horsey headlights to read a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ horse romance novel. Meanwhile, I'm over here, sitting in a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ rocking chair, sipping down lemonade, you know me. At this point I get a giant erection about a horse. Then her lights was on. Then.. I fell asleep.


Then I woke up, a big flash of light.
Then, that's about it.