The year is 2048 and the Food Network finally shuts its doors and sells the channel, this puts everyone working at the network at this time out of a job. As we follow the last remaining worker onto his deathbed, he is surrounded by his family and friends. He knows his hours are numbered but he has to eat at one more restaurant.

He dusts off his red convertible and drives off far away, frosting his remaining hair as he drives. Once he arrives at the restaurant he orders the largest juiciest burger on the menu. Once he receives his sandwich he reflects for a minute, thinking back to the forty seasons of his show and how every single meal was a blessing.

He bites down on his burger and his heart stops.

After he awakens in a bright white location, squinting his eyes he sees him. God himself with the same frosted tips as the man does. When the man asks “Where am I” the lord replied swiftly.

“You did it Guy,”

**”You’ve made it to FlavorTown”**

So my friend who is on a nofap journey for around 300 days, told me that he had a lucid dream yesterday where he was ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ a hot girl, the thing is, whilst he was ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ her, it felt so good and that the moment he was about to ejaculate, he stopped, saying that it was an act of supreme self-control. But here's the catch, immediately after stopping, he got pinned by a ghost, the ghost started thrusting his ass with his big girthy ♥♥♥♥, the ghost was pinning him so hard he couldn't even move or turn back to see how the ghost looks like. He told me that all of that was an act of the matrix, and that all of these devils and ghosts are ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ him as an act of taking revenge on him, trying to make him fail his PMO free journey.
This is not even the first time, he had other similar experiences, one in real life where he met a very sexy, charming ghost in form of human, but when he tried to ♥♥♥♥ her, he instead got pinned by another ghost who started ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ his butthole.

Listen, maybe you can contain your pathetic cringepilled uwu femboy spurt with a tissue, but MY loads? There is no finite amount of paper that can stop them. My 2 foot long sigma-male schlobber shoots loads that pierce straight through tissues, clothes, skin, bones without the slighest resistance, because that's just how strong and based i am. My ejaculations reach Mach 4 in less than 1 second, my jizz geyser could shoot straight into the ozonosphere and make a second hole in it. have killed far too many people, accidentally or not, with my masturbation to take it so lightly. I'm the sperminator, and you'd better pray you never find yourself on the wrong side of my cumzooka, cause you Wouldn't like the consequences.

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What the ♥♥♥♥ are you doing in my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ swamp you little Farquaad? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the brogres, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on your anus, and have ogre 300 confirmed layers. I am trained in making early 2000's pop cultural references, and am the top ogre in the entire far far away armed forces. You are nothing to me but another Drek. I will wipe you out with precision the likes of which have never been seen in Dreamworks, mark my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ words. You think you can get away with saying that dreck to me over the swamp? Think again, ♥♥♥♥♥♥. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of fairy tale creatures across Far Far Away and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, Farquaad.

I'm so sick of all these people who think they're gamers. No, you're not. Most of you are not even close to being gamers. I see these people saying "I put well over 100hrs in this game and it's great!" That's nothing, most of us can easily put 300+ in all of our games. I see people who only have the Nintendo Switch and claim to be gamers. Come talk to me when you pick up a PS4 then we'll be friends.

also DEAR WOMEN: Pokémon is not a real game. Animal Crossing is not a real game. The sims is not a real game. Mario is not a real game. Stardew Valley is not a real game. Mobile games are NOT. REAL. GAMES. Put down the baby games and play something that requires challenge and skill for once.