>work at shoe factory from the age of 4 to now (im 29)
>save up for over a year just to make 20$ american dollars
>have to eat shoelaces for a year
>give my childrens to the orphanage clinic
>gave my wifes to my neighbor, Akmed, for bed labor
>finally h1z1 is released
>call in sick at the shoe factory
>boss is mad but i promise him i work for 3 month straight no pay
>he tells me i have to come in at 2am tonight
>have to charge electric generator to start my computer up
>have no internets, have to steal neighbor Akmed's DSL internets
>log on steam and download h1z1
>convert h1z1 to thirty 1.5mb floppy disks so i can run it on my emachine
>it starts loading up, finally
>i start crying
>feels like im in heaven chillin with Muhammed and banging 99 virgins
>get G99 error
>been trying for hours now, its now 4 am, im late for work
>my work's message bird tells me i've been fired from my job
>my electric generator blew up
>Akmed threw out my wife because she couldnt childbear more than 12 kids
>orphanage called and told me my children will live after all

G99/G99, WOULD G99 AGAIN

T-thanks John Smedley