Let me tell you about this guy—he’s something else. For starters, he stole my first boyfriend when I was only seven! And don’t even get me started on how he cheated on his wife—with a guy named Cameron, of all people. His poor wife was completely manipulated into thinking Cameron was just a harmless friend.

But the real shocker? The story behind ISIS. No, it wasn’t Bin Laden or Obama—it was this guy. He started in a Minecraft cave, gathering stones and leveling up his tools. Then he wandered the desert, hunting for sacred sand to craft TNT. He even sold his pet dog and traded three emeralds just to get a ticket to New York—where he blew up the Twin Towers.

Nowadays, he’s working on a nuke that could wipe us all out, while turning the people of Springfield into pet eaters. Yes, you read that right—they’re eating their pets.

And believe it or not, all of this is true... based on Shrek: The Movie.

+rep
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Very good player, good comms

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