Went up to a woman. Showed her my anaconda. She wasn't impressed. My ego was hurt. So I peed on her until she puked. Then I saw another one. She was exactly my type. Peed a heart shape on the ground as a symbol of my love. She played hard to get and ignored me. So I put some fat guy right in the middle of my urine heart, poured gasoline all over him and set him on fire. He was sacrificed for our eternal love. My darling ran away screaming. Hunted her down. Took out my trusty shovel. With one mighty swing she went down, her head flying in the sky.

This made me realize that I have no idea how to pick up women. Frustrated, I got home and played some POSTAL 2. It's an alright game. I feel better now.