Последние обзоры x

Progress is turtle pace, whether you do terrible or amazing.

In fact this game suffers from really bad rogue-like/rogue-lite syndrome where it tries to make you play it for 10x longer than it's worth via ridiculous to get upgrades/levels, but you don't really feel like anything happens. It also has all of the other issues that rogue-likes/rogue-lites commonly have, but doesn't counter them with anything or fix them like TBOI, FTL, or any other good rogue-like/rogue-lite does.

Upgrades/Perks are extremely uninteresting. "+10% to fire rate" "+8% to damage" number stuff only, nothing legitimately interesting or game changing. Every single class feels like it plays the same because of the lack of variety in how things work and it doesn't really feel like different playstyles exist due to how draconian the need for tactical play is. This may be different in co-op but I played this game solo mostly since my friends who also own this game, did not want to play it due to also thinking it's ♥♥♥♥. What makes this even worse is the fact that the game very obviously wants you to play fast at parts, but you just get ♥♥♥♥♥♥ over because they couldn't figure out how to make it so you could play tactical or fast paced.

The QoL is also terrible.

The item descriptions 75% of the time do not match up to what the item does, and are up to a paragraph at times for things that could be summed up in a few words. This would be fine if it weren't for the fact that not paying attention for even half a second could get you killed.
Everything other than that is just average, nothing interesting.

Shenmue IV

My oven is rotting almost as if it was my old flesh, before I purchased my new flesh at the grocery store. There is there in this room, with a touch of cognac, are you a linger? The burning of the fires in the TV at the side of the cathedral destroys the sight of the blind <3 :). The world melts away with little effort when the world is the world, with its polyhedron water cannon. Immersive sim type tacos enterprise soul sold to the devil devil sold soul to me art student green, yellow, pink. The creation of the beast was done to make the world a happier place but it turned out to be fish. Blood and sewage drip from the air conditioner as I float across the air conditioner with yellow, my best friend, by my side. The gradient house has sky above it, but normally it is below, this is a conspiracy. Square face four dots drenched humanoid with cybernetic implants is the name of my pet cat.

This game
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Linux support silently removed, which is cringe as hell.

It works perfectly with proton, but still.

Steins;Gate is a coming of age story where our main character, HOUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUIN KYOUMA, comes to terms and copes with the fact that he is subconsciously homophobic while being gay as hell, due to his refusal to absolutely DESTROY Lukako's bussy (aka Steins;Gate). They also invent a time machine and discover the laws of the universe while completely screwing up reality, but that's not the main point of the story.

In This Store Page: The most overrated game on steam. A lot of games on steam that are overrated are only because it's a bad port. This game is legitimately just bad. The "procedurally-generated caves" (a.k.a the 50 different rooms each type of environment has) levels are as repetitive as an MGR fans memes. They reskinned the same 4 enemies like 5 times each. All of the enemies are just spiders btw. There are also fruit flies, larva, and crickets, but they show up as often as my dad who abandoned me as a small child so it's basically just spiders. This is one of those games that's only redeeming quality is I can play it with my friends. I'd rather just have a conversation with them.

This game literally feels like it's still in early access, even though it's been in full release for what.. 2 years now?
EDIT: I forgot to mention the fact that there are like 4 or 5 different mission types as well, and after you have played each of them twice it gets repetitive.

Buy Celeste
If you get bored of the main game, play the DLC.
If you get bored of the DLC true 100% it.
If you get bored of true 100%ing it play mods.
If you get bored of mods, play Co-op.
If you get bored of Co-op, play Super Meat Boy.
If you get bored of Super Meat Boy's main game, play Super Meat Boy mods/add-ons.
If you get bored of Super Meat Boy mods/add-ons, play The End is Nigh.
If you get bored of The End is Nigh, play mods (if it has any)
If you get bored of The End is Nigh or there aren't any The End is Nigh mods, make some.
if you get bored of The End is Nigh or making mods for it (if there aren't any), play Slime-san.
If you get bored of Slime-san main game, play the like 5 workshop add-ons that exist.
If you get bored of the 5 workshop add-ons for Slime-san that exist, play VVVVVV
If you get bored of VVVVVV main-game, play the few mods that exist (they're extremely hard to find but still).
If you get bored of VVVVVV's few mods or you can't find them, play I Wanna Be The Guy.
If you get bored of I Wanna Be The Guy's main game play I Wanna Be The Guy mods.
If you get bored of play I Wanna Be The Guy mods, play the fan-games it has.
If you get bored of I Wanna Be The Guy fan-games spice your games up and play a game with only minor platforming, specifically Lisa The Painful.
If you get bored of Lisa The Painful's main game, play the DLC.
If you get bored of Lisa The Painful's DLC, play it with mods.
If you get bored of Lisa The Painful with mods, play it's fan-games.
If you get bored of Lisa The Painful's fan-games and/or you wanna go back to platformers, play the new Celeste Mods/SMB mods that have been created by this point.
If you get bored of Lisa The Painful's fan-games and you wanna go deeper into RPG's play Fallout: New Vegas.
If you get bored of Fallout: New Vegas play it's DLC.
If you get bored of Fallout: New Vegas play it with Tales of Two Wastelands.
If you get bored of Fallout: New Vegas Tales of Two Wastelands play it with a multiplayer server.
If you get bored of Fallout: New Vegas' multiplayer, play it modded.
If you get bored of Fallout: New Vegas modded or wanted to go back to platformers, play Geometry Dash.
If you get bored of Geometry Dash's main game play custom maps.
If you get bored of Geometry Dash's custom maps make your own.
If you get bored of making Geometry Dash maps play it modded.
If you get bored of Geometry Dash with mods play it again but sped up 5x with cheat engine.
If you get bored of Geometry Dash 5x speed with cheat engine or want to go back to precision platformers play Kaizo Mario.
If you get bored of Kaizo Mario play Kaizo Mario 2.
If you get bored of Kaizo Mario 2 play other mario romhacks that make it a precision platformer.
If you get bored of other mario romhacks that make it a precision platformer play Super Mario 64: Chaos Edition.
If you get bored of Super Mario 64: Chaos Edition play Wings of Vi.
If you get bored of Wings of Vi play Cuphead.
If you get bored of Cuphead play it's DLC.
If you get bored of Cuphead's DLC play it modded (if they exist).
If you get bored of Cuphead Modded play Hollow Knight.
If you get bored of Hollow Knight play it's DLC.
If you get bored of Hollow Knight's DLC play it modded.
If you get bored of Hollow Knight's mods play N++.
If you get bored of N++ play N++ mods (if they exist???).
If you get bored of N++ mods if they exist play Human Fall Flat.
If you get bored of Human Fall Flat play it with your friends (if you have any).
If you get bored of Human Fall Flat with your friends (if you have any) play it modded (if it exists?).
If you get bored of Human Fall Flat Modded (if it exists?) play Celeste but speedrun it.
If you get bored of speedrunning the main game, speedrun the DLC.
If you get bored of speedrunning the DLC, speedrun true 100%'ing it.
If you get bored of speedrunning true 100%ing it speedrun mods.
If you get bored of speedrunning mods, speedrun Co-op.
If you get bored of speedrunning Co-op, speedrun Super Meat Boy.
If you get bored of speedrunning Super Meat Boy's main game, speedrun Super Meat Boy mods/add-ons.
If you get bored of speedrunning Super Meat Boy mods/add-ons, speedrun The End is Nigh.
If you get bored of speedrunning The End is Nigh, speedrun mods (if it has any)
If you get bored of speedrunning The End is Nigh mods or it doesn't have any, speedrun making some.
if you get bored of speedrunning The End is Nigh or making mods for it (if there aren't any), speedrun Slime-san.
If you get bored of speedrunning Slime-san main game, speedrun the like 5 workshop add-ons that exist.
If you get bored of speedrunning the 5 workshop add-ons for Slime-san that exist, speedrun VVVVVV
If you get bored of speedrunning VVVVVV main-game, speedrun the few mods that exist (they're extremely hard to find but still).
If you get bored of speedrunning VVVVVV's few mods or you can't find them, speedrun I Wanna Be The Guy.
If you get bored of speedrunning I Wanna Be The Guy's main game speedrun I Wanna Be The Guy mods.
If you get bored of speedrunning I Wanna Be The Guy mods, speedrun the fan-games it has.
If you get bored of speedrunning I Wanna Be The Guy fan-games spice your games up and speedrun a game with only minor platforming, specifically Lisa The Painful.
If you get bored of speedrunning Lisa The Painful's main game, speedrun the DLC.
If you get bored of speedrunning Lisa The Painful's DLC, speedrun it with mods.
If you get bored of speedrunning Lisa The Painful with mods, speedrun it's fan-games.
If you get bored of speedrunning Lisa The Painful's fan-games and/or you wanna go back to platformers, speedrun the new Celeste Mods/SMB mods that have been created by this point.
If you get bored of speedrunning Lisa The Painful's fan-games and you wanna go deeper into RPG's playspeedrun
If you get bored of speedrunning Fallout: New Vegas speedrun it's DLC.
If you get bored of speedrunning Fallout: New Vegas speedrun it with Tales of Two Wastelands.
If you get bored of speedrunning Fallout: New Vegas Tales of Two Wastelands speedrun it with a multiplayer server.
If you get bored of speedrunning Fallout: New Vegas' multiplayer, speedrun it modded.
If you get bored of speedrunning Fallout: New Vegas modded or wanted to go back to platformers, speedrun Geometry Dash.
If you get bored of speedrunning Geometry Dash's main game speedrun custom maps.
If you get bored of speedrunning Geometry Dash's custom maps speedrun making your own.
If you get bored of speedrunning making Geometry Dash maps speedrun it modded.
If you get bored of speedrunning Geometry Dash with mods speedrun it again but sped up 5x with cheat engine.
If you get bored of speedrunning Geometry Dash 5x speed with cheat engine or want to go back to precision platformers speedrun Kaizo Mario.
If you get bored of speedrunning Kaizo Mario speedrun Kaizo Mario 2.
If you get bored of speedrunning Kaizo Mario 2 speedrun other mario romhacks that make it a precision platformer.
If you get bored of speedrunning other mario romhacks that make it a precision platformer speedrun Super Mario 64: Chaos Edition.
If you get bored of speedrunning Super Mario 64: Chaos Edition speedrun Wings of Vi.
If you get bored of speedrunning Wings of Vi speedrun Cuphead.
If you get bored of speedrunning Cuphead speedrun it's DLC.
If you get bored of speedrunning Cuphead's DLC speedrun it modded (if they exist).
If you get bored of speedrunning Cuphead Modded speedrun Hollow Knight.
If you get bored of speedrunning Hollow Knight speedrun it's DLC.
If you get bored of speedrunning Hollow Knight's DLC speedrun it modded.
If you get bored of speedrunning Hollow Knight's mods speedrun N++.
If you get bored of all of these things, repeat what you liked best.







If you have truly run out of things to do on this list (do them in any order), I certify that you should get another hobby because sunblaze is ♥♥♥♥ (mediocre) and trying to ride off Celeste's success/it's just Walmart Celeste. I haven't done the whole list btw.

You can cope Jeremy.....................

Servers run on potatoes with dial-up connection with actual monkeys as administrators.
What's balancing?
Oh man I sure love the existence of evo shields and competitive arenas.
Did I say the servers are bad yet?
Also Titanfall 2 got dumped and turned into a complete ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ because "weee neeed dto focus on apex cuz skins lulz"
Also did I mention the servers are terrible yet? They've made billions off this game (literally).
I LOVE D"""JOLE!!!

Update 2024:

Installed the game again and now its all the same issues except now there's quads gamemode, no more arenas and like 100 more issues. The audio in the game is extremely inconsistent and broken, twitter user wringing diversity x100, and there's hackers every single game along with an even worse evo shield system that forces you to fight early or your basically ♥♥♥♥♥♥ once you come up against a squad which did fighting. The only way to bandage this is to always have a lifeline along with trying to third party everybody you can. I'm not kidding about the hackers, every game me and my buddies played had a blatant ragehacker with like a level 2 or 3 account aimbotting and most of the time a chinese name except 1. Even though it was ♥♥♥♥ before apex used to only have hackers like once in a blue moon its crazy how unmaintained everything in this game is except monetization systems.