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🤥
The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception a neccessity.
-- Oscar Wilde
😫
"The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as
we could with both of them."
-- Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
🤠
Epperson's law:
When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably
something his wife can beat him at.
🤔
If you are going to walk on thin ice, you may as well dance.
😬
Don't remember what you can infer.
-- Harry Tennant
😭
Earth Army Recruiting Center: What are you, chicken? Buk buk buk!
🤒
I am NOMAD!
🤓
Peter: They covered the house in micro-film of Teflon so you never have to clean. [the family slips and falls to the floor]
Peter: I probably shouldn't have had them cover the floors in it. [Stewie skates by]
Stewie: I'm nudes on ice!
😘
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