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Remember how every other episode of The Next Generation climaxed with some sort of warp core breach that required a saucer separation? The red alert klaxon would sound off and the camera would cut to a shot of Geordi rolling dramatically under one of the descending emergency gates, just narrowly escaping death and ensuring he'd be around to host another episode of Reading Rainbow.

We imagine that's just how your Christmas morning would play out if someone were to gift you Star Trek: Conquest, except instead of a saucer separation, you'll be running out of the house and jumping into your car, driving away as fast as possible, glancing at your rearview mirror just in time to see your house explode spectacularly behind you.