MY FAVORITE VIDEO GAME I HAVE PLAYED BESIDES CYBERPUNK ADDRESS

I Haven’t Stood Up Since Eve Put On 2B’s Outfit

You thought you were safe. You thought Stellar Blade couldn’t possibly get more goon-inducing after the NIKKE collab. And then they dropped the NieR:Automata crossover. Eve in 2B’s outfit. Eve in Kaine’s outfit. Eve in glorious monochrome, thigh-high booted, gothic android aesthetic. I didn’t choose this life — this life chose me.

I booted up the game, saw that little notification pop up — “NieR DLC Installed” — and immediately felt my pulse spike like I had just walked into church and seen the priest in fishnets.

Eve in 2B’s blindfold and battle skirt? That’s not fanservice — that’s a direct transmission to the lizard brain. The developers must’ve taken notes from NASA engineers the way they precision-calculated this much dumptruck in one frame without causing structural collapse. Her walk animations already had me shaking; now I’m practically vibrating like a PS5 haptic feedback test.

It’s not cosplay. It’s canon now — in my heart.
Eve IS 2B. And dare I say it? She’s got more backfield motion than 2B ever did. I said what I said. The way that skirt sways? The weight. The physics. The DRAMA. I’ve spent more time in Photo Mode than actually playing the game. I’m doing air combos not for damage — but because it gives the best mid-spin booty angles. I'm in my frame-hunting era, and I'm not coming back.

And the Kaine outfit? Bro. BRO.
This isn’t even combat attire — this is spiritual torment. It's an invitation to sin, packaged in asymmetrical straps and tasteful side-boob. I loaded into a level, saw Eve wearing it, and forgot my main objective entirely. The UI might as well have said:

🆘 Warning: You are now gooning at Ultra Nightmare difficulty.

Yoko Taro and the Stellar Blade devs teamed up like Thanos collecting thirst stones. They looked at each other and said, “Let’s break the internet. Let’s make this boy feral.”

And they did.