Recent reviews by wintermute

I went into this game with low expectations based on what I had heard since it's release, but, suprisingly, it turned out to be a really well put together experience and quite a lot of fun. It really captures the charm that old, Nintendo 64-era platformers had, but with fantastic graphics. The only negatives that I can think of would be that the world sizes are too big (Which can get even bigger if you collect enough pages), and the camera is a tad janky.

Somewhere at the bottom of a murky, dark abyss, buried under a seething hellscape of rape, fire, and the screams of thousands of dead children, were long forgotten scrolls inscribed with the insidious directions to concoct some malformed, malicious form of torture long tucked away by our ancestors to keep their descendents safe for what they hoped to be eternity. However, everything changed when these scrolls were unearthed from their scalding tombs by a pair of greasy, acne-covered teenagers from Canada. They masked their micro-holocaust abomination by calling it a game and making a sad attempt at passing it off as humor.

Human kind is still trying to recover from the shockwave of pain and agony brought about by this game, and the creators, BMC Studio, are still to this day being hunted down for their crimes against humanity.

Broke into somebody's home, ate a burger from their refridgerator, and instantly became depressed. I searched the remainder of the house for something to rid myself of this illness, but all I could find was a jug of bleach. What happened next is up to interpretation.

This is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ aids