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Wow I just saw your moves in game, and I have to say they were pretty c-r-a-z-y. I seriously mean that, they were freaking C-R-A-Z-Y. Take it from me, I work in an insane asylum....... Yep... 15 years and counting.... Best employee for 4 months straight..... got he plaques to prove it..... I really like it there too wouldn't trade it for the world.......... sigh..... I guess I gotta come clean. To tell you the truth. (I lied)..... I'm actually a patient in the asylum.......... So what I'm not this gazillionaire quintillionaire big wig asylum worker I made myself out to be ok? So what I made a business suit out of my own hair to impress you and make you believe I was an asylum employee ok?

So maybe i'm not an asylum worker, but you know what I am? I'm proudly the leader of the bathroom cleaners brigade........ (I lied again).... sigh. Heck, there isn't even a bathroom cleaners brigade, I've been trying to bring it up to management for months (lies), cuz the freakin rats are getting kinda out of control (tells the truth). It's hard here you know but the rats are honestly kind of my closest allies. (oh boy) I wouldn't call them friends persay because I know they're plotting against me, and I against them. It's just the natural order of things.

Anyways, hope you win your next game (lies, winks, tells the truth)

Hey big booty babies. That's right this murderer is back on the loose and ready to noose. She'll give you a smack or two if you ever look at her dollars. She loves them more than her own coins if you can believe it. Don't take my word for it, write her a letter yourself.

Hello, fellow human being. May I suggest updating to the recently released software updates:

1) BFFware 2.0 - "The Empathy Upgrade"
Now with an emotional decoder for deciphering cryptic texts. Understands the true meaning behind "k" and "sure, we'll see."

2) Hindsight 20.22 - "That Wasn't a Feature?"
Fixes all software bugs you didn't notice in 2022.

3) Update 11.11 - "Wishing Well of Absurdity"
Mutual wish-sharing now includes the ability to wish for things like a lifetime supply of bubble wrap or the ability to speak dolphin. Because why not?