ΣDΛBᄂΣ's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 24 Mar, 2018 @ 4:16pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 24 Mar, 2018 @ 5:39pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 24 Mar, 2018 @ 4:25pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 24 Mar, 2018 @ 5:45pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 24 Mar, 2018 @ 5:58pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 26 Mar, 2018 @ 12:52pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 24 Mar, 2018 @ 5:35pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 25 Mar, 2018 @ 12:22pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 25 Mar, 2018 @ 3:00pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 25 Mar, 2018 @ 6:13pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 26 Mar, 2018 @ 11:06am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 26 Mar, 2018 @ 1:32pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 27 Mar, 2018 @ 12:29pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 25 Mar, 2018 @ 1:47pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 25 Mar, 2018 @ 7:30pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 25 Mar, 2018 @ 2:37pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 25 Mar, 2018 @ 6:22pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 26 Mar, 2018 @ 9:03am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 25 Mar, 2018 @ 4:37pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 25 Mar, 2018 @ 2:32pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 25 Mar, 2018 @ 4:49pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 24 Mar, 2018 @ 4:38pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 26 Mar, 2018 @ 11:02am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 27 Mar, 2018 @ 10:49am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 25 Mar, 2018 @ 10:55am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 24 Mar, 2018 @ 5:24pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 26 Mar, 2018 @ 9:13am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 26 Mar, 2018 @ 12:15pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 25 Mar, 2018 @ 4:57pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 25 Mar, 2018 @ 6:11pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 26 Mar, 2018 @ 1:33pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 24 Mar, 2018 @ 5:26pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 24 Mar, 2018 @ 4:25pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 25 Mar, 2018 @ 6:05pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 24 Mar, 2018 @ 4:42pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 26 Mar, 2018 @ 3:30pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 26 Mar, 2018 @ 12:57pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 26 Mar, 2018 @ 3:46pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 24 Mar, 2018 @ 6:27pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 25 Mar, 2018 @ 6:14pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 24 Mar, 2018 @ 5:49pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 25 Mar, 2018 @ 10:48am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 24 Mar, 2018 @ 4:46pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 24 Mar, 2018 @ 4:47pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 24 Mar, 2018 @ 4:50pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 24 Mar, 2018 @ 4:47pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 25 Mar, 2018 @ 10:48am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 25 Mar, 2018 @ 2:12pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 24 Mar, 2018 @ 6:03pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 29 Mar, 2018 @ 9:56am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 27 Mar, 2018 @ 12:00pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 24 Mar, 2018 @ 4:50pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 25 Mar, 2018 @ 10:47am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 24 Mar, 2018 @ 4:31pm

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 26 Mar, 2018 @ 8:43am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 24 Mar, 2018 @ 7:01pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 24 Mar, 2018 @ 4:55pm

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.

Unlocked 26 Mar, 2018 @ 10:56am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 25 Mar, 2018 @ 3:07pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 27 Mar, 2018 @ 12:30pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 26 Mar, 2018 @ 1:48pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 25 Mar, 2018 @ 7:35pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

8 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30