Análises recentes de Heidrun

Rather Long Essay to Explain Why I'm Only Reviewing One Aspect of the Game: I have not played and refuse to play this game's Multiplayer PvP modes.

This is because, y'see, the flag on my picture, my name and the way that FPS players, and self-described "Gamers" in general, often are. Yknow. Gamergate-y bois, who, oh gee, just really like to place the value of other people solely on the color they are or what parts they be gottin' or who they like to fiddlestick in the bed time hours, if you're picking up the groovy sauce im doling out, y'feel me?

Any games, but mostly First Person Shooter games, that have public multiplayer are games I tend to avoid like the plague if it doesn't have any single player modes or if those multiplayer elements do not have Cooperative modes, which often have nicer people who dont enjoy pretend-murdering other real human beings and calling them slurs while they do it because obviously that's just a joke and a cool and good and fun and wacky and zany thing to do.

That's not to say pretend-murder is bad. I too enjoy a good romp on the ol' call of duty boob tube, but y'see, i just dont much care for people who do it because they actually want to really FOR REALSIES kill people they dont like in REALLY REAL life. People like me, who are minorities, who these self-described "Gamers" don't tend to like very much at all ever not even one time.



The actual review: this game DOES have singleplayer and therefor i played it, and that's what i'll be reviewing here.

Great game, honestly. Absolutely no compl- okay, maybe one. I need more of that time travel stuff. It really gets my dopamine flowing, and oooooOOOOOOOOO its so cool. Give me more of that, please. The rest of the game is absolute trash by comparison, GIVE ME MOOOORE. But other than that, this game is genuinely fantastic.

The FPS shooty boy moments are fun, the movement is waaay more fun in my opinion, and while i dont really enjoy the Titan gameplay, as i find it slow and clunky as opposed to the cool and good fast gameplay as Cooper, it's honestly still great fun to stomp my lil metal feets as a big ol' robot daddy. It kinda do be a mood, even if i couldn't choose my character or their pronouns. I, as a trans girl who is quite perturbed about the current state of the world i'm forced to live in, too enjoy stomping on fictional bad people.

The story though. I really liked the story. That is all i have to say about it, its cool, go fuggin play it, you dweebs. The best part of this game is still the running and jumping, and by far the time travel stuff (Give me more of it, you absolute goobers, you cant give me this awesome thing that makes the gameplay 10000% more fun and just TAKE IT AWAY immediately. Make a whole game based on THAT, with the same systems and stuff. Like, omg, how could you freaking MONSTERS do this to us???) but the story is cool and good.

Play this game. This is a threat. If you do not play this game when you have the opportunity to, I will personally call you a Goofy Stinkyhead. Play the game. EA sucks, as all corporate conglomerates do, but this game is cool and good and wacky and radical.

...This is genuinely terrible. I've only got a half hour in the game, but that was honestly enough for me to go "nope."

Animations are terrible, mechanics are terrible, tutorial is practically nonexistent.

Its one of those "Do whatever you want, make you own fun, we were too lazy to actually put any in" games and its GENUINELY terrible. Like... This is one of the worst games i've ever played, honestly only topped by Life is Feudal, and I don't understand why it's rated so highly. This sucks. How is this worth $40 USD? Reign of Kings is a better game than this, and that's really saying something.

Like im not gonna say it's boring, because "make your own fun" is a valid (though often misdone) gameplay thing. Its a survival game. Yeah, make your own fun. But its just... bad. Its not hard, its just frustrating. I sat here for 45 minutes gathering resources, vibing, having a decent enough time, working through poor animations, only for it to be ruined with some random c*nts aggroing onto me for no reason. The game also presented itself in the cutscene as an at least somewhat story driven game, but right after it's just.... "Okay you're here now, bye" and like.... "This game doesnt hold your hand!!" isnt a valid excuse for poor design.

Dont buy, at least at full price, it's a waste of time and not in a good way like Crusader Kings. Honestly, maybe it gets better, like Kingdom Come Deliverance, which i started out HATING, but warmed up to it after the mechanics got better. But at least that game came out the gate with "Hey, here's an explanation for stuff" and not just "K, bye, nerd" like wtf

I'm rambling, because im very irritated with this game, but frankly, no one reads these unless they're an a**hole making fun of them, so i dont care.

From what i've seen, its very reminiscent of Classic WoW. I really like its adorable style, but it is very grindy. Yknow, like Classic WoW.

So if you like Classic WoW, this game's for you. Otherwise, well.... try it and see if you like it.

Oh, i've been playing on my roommate's account, btw. I also watched Josh "Strife" Hayes' video on it.

At first, i really hated this game. And i still do sometimes. I do not at all recommend buying this game at full price if you're not into sitting back and essentially watching an interactive movie. But it is pretty okay. I dont think it deserves all the rewards it got for video games, since it hits more like a novel im being forced to read for school or a movie my friends make me watch with them, but! like those books and those movies, they're ultimately decent enough pieces of artwork, and just because I don't really like it all that much doesnt mean it's not good.

[Mythology and the History of it]

Hellblade, from the hour i spent playing it, reaaallly does resemble a walking simulator, with a heck ton of narration and summaries of Norse Mythology.... some of which arent *entirely* accurate, but whatever. To be fair, no Norse Mythology is entirely accurate, since most sources we have for it were written or carved AFTER or DURING the Christianization of the Norse people, therefor they are HEAVILY influenced by Christian mythology. Heck, half of it was even written by one dude in Iceland named Snorri Sturlusson, a pretty cool dude, a Lawspeaker, poet, writer, and iirc even a bit of an Adventurer.

But it should be noted that he lived in the 12th century- After what's considered the Christianization of Scandinavia, which iirc were from the 8th to early 12th centuries. The religion, by law, in Iceland, Snorri's home, was Christianity by the year 1000 (the 11th century). For roughly one hundred years before Snorri was born, Iceland had been Christianized, after a civil war brought about by the King of Norway around the year 998, it was decided that all would become Christian, compulsorily, in Norway, MAYBE also Denmark, im not sure. Iceland was a settlement of Norway, and therefor they were included. So. Yknow. Point is, Snorri's work, while awesome, is essentially just fanfiction. All of it is sort of fanfiction. No one TRULY knows what those ancient people believed, and no one ever will. So no one really knows if something accurate to the "real" mythology, since it doesn't REALLY exist anymore. But anyways...

[done]

Game okay, but kinda stinky. Buy if on sale. Or if you just want to. Is cool, but kinda boring.

is fun, is viking, kills time, what could be better?

Terrible game, ♥♥♥♥♥♥ performance, i dont understand why people spend money on it.

I'm sorry, but 12 FPS isnt playable. And im not even in multiplayer, and i've even tried turning the graphics down to very low. This game is genuine garbage. :V

---- initial review ----
[insert angry rant about early game ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ here]

---- update (10/30/2020, 3am PT) ----
Now that i've spent an absurb amount of time (52 hours at this time) this week playing this stupid ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ piece of sh*t game (not really, i do really love it), i can say without a doubt that, while the combat system gets better, it is very easy to get better from literal garbage and still be trash. Now, it's fun and all. I'm really good at it, even. But i have several gripes.

The MOMENT a fight gets satisfying, the time when you get combos in and they work and its so satisfying and you feel cool- the MOMENT this happens- the fight's over. You win. Good job, have a cookie, now only eat a crumb of it. Its ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ stupid. And all the while in the rest of the fight, youre just frustrated that you cant even ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ land a single hit, let alone 3 or 4. Ripostes should be reserved for yourself (henry) and *important* characters. It's WILDLY unsatisfying to fight a plate armor clad bandit on a hilltop, trying to do one of the combos you spent so long practicing with Captain Bernard to learn, aaand the bandit just ripostes every. single. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. time. Or at the very least there should be a cooldown on perfect blocks. I'd accept that. Because it literally negates the entire point of HAVING these stupid combos to begin with. You CANT do them. And when you do, its over.

Peasant bandits cant riposte much, as their skills are low, but they always either run away or die in a single blow, so theres really not much point. It sucks. This still sucks and i hate it. But yeah, its waaaaay better than early game. I'd prefer being able to do combat but not any cool fancy stuff than to never ever be able to do a single thing EVER. Honestly, the devs wasted their time *and* money putting effort into the combos. Its borderline impossible to land them. And theyre incredibly unsatisfying when you DO actually pull them off. Note that i am VERY high level. I have some of the best armor in the game, and most of the perks in the game. It's not a "git gud" thing, im very good already. This system is just complete ass, for what its TRYING to accomplish. Granted, its not total buttcakes in any other aspect, tbh. I think the targeting could use work, but idk what exactly to change. But in every other aspect, the combat system gets a gold star from me.

Ripostes and perfect blocks shouldnt be able to be spammed, i personally think ripostes specifically should be reserved for henry and bosses, and the targeting is kinda bleh, but. Other than that, i have only one issue with this game: the lack of practically any real optimization.

this rig is beefy, as ive said before. And im not the only one with issues. This game runs like hairy d*ck. Devs, pls fix this game's performance issues, seriously. Its sometimes just plain unplayable, its so bad. I even increased the heapsize and junk, turned off vsync, turned down video settings, lowered resolution, and all that only got me like 5 fps improvement. Its not an issue with the hardware, its an issue with the game. Fix it. I paid full price for this only for it to go on sale IMMEDIATELY after.
7/10

--- update (10/30/2020 11pm PT) ---
I got a bunch of mods that improve not only the performance of the game but also the way it looks. I also got a bunch of gameplay altering mods, some of which remove the schnapps requirement to saving, add a new skill for shortswords, increase the skill cap to 100 instead of 20, remove the weight limit, remove AI ripostes because frankly i dont like em, remove the kinda annoying slow motion sound effect from perfect blocks (it gets old when its a back and forth exchange), aaand most importantly remove the collisions from bushes. Serious, what was up with that? I can slay 11 peasant bandits singlehandedly and come out without a scratch but i cant *go through a bush*? Thats wack. So yeah I'm pretty happy with this game rn.

10/10

A fun game, with a horrifying community. They would find that a compliment, but genuinely- There are a LOT of straight up fascists just outright talking about genocide, due to the themes of this game. They don't seem to understand the POINT of this game. And if they do, they don't care.

I do recommend the gameplay. But stay far away from the community. There are some "Leftist" folks weirdly praising Bill Williamson and admiring Malthusianism on one side, and fascists fantasizing about committing genocide on the other. One's worse, but avoid both.

Its apparently gonna be free soon, dont bother buying it. But also, what the heck is the point of a season pass if it comes with only, like, one DLC? The new expansion wont be coming with the season pass. Just call this a DLC, dont get my friggin hopes up... d*cks...

The fact that the only compensation for them basically making all of those who already bought the DLC at full price, or even discounted, is a frankly crappy cosmetic paintjob and nothing else-- that's super scummy, ngl. This game's dope. It has microtransactions, sure, after already paying full price for it, but its just cosmetic stuff so it's fine. But frankly, while I'm not gonna say I dont wanna get Odyssey when it comes out because i dont wanna support the devs, i will say that i can't support this behavior by them... and probably wont be buying Odyssey. For one, i cant afford it, for two, whats the point when they'll probably just make it free later? Sheesh.

If they want to compensate those of us who already have paid for Horizons, and this, ngl, kinda crappy season pass, the should just give us Odyssey when it comes out. Yknow, include it WITH the season pass. We already paid for it, making it free just wastes our money.

Basically the issue here is a betrayal of trust between us and the devs and the devs making out money, from our prospective, wasted. Sure, it supports the devs, but if they just make it free, giving it away to everyone, after we spent hard-earned money on it, that just feels ♥♥♥♥♥♥ for the customers. Dont make it free. And if you do, at least PROPERLY compensate those who already paid you with more than a lolipop and a pat on the head.

The races and classes are a little yikes, somewhat sexist... Also, it runs like garbage