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Andy B.   Chicago, Illinois, United States
 
 
There is a giant ball there. And evil apes. And the evil apes are dukin' it out on the ball. You're one of them. It's basically all just evil apes dukin' it out on a giant ball. - Limbic System, Disco Elysium

There is a hole at the center of everything, and it is always growing. Between the stars I am seeing it. It is coming, and you are not escaping, and the universe is forgetting you, and the universe is being forgotten, and there is nothing to remember it, not even the things beyond. And now there is only the hole... You are atoms, and your atoms are not caring if you are existing. Your atoms are monstrous existence. - The Sky Cat, Night in the Woods
Şu Anda Çevrimdışı
I finish games and usually review them
Recently Beaten:
- Finding Paradise
- Animal Well
- Mothmen 1966
- The Good Time Garden
- Lorelei and the Laser Eyes

Now Playing:
- Helldivers 2 (reviewed)
- Tinykin
İnceleme Vitrini
Sights & Sounds
The one good thing
  • I'm going to write a lot of negative words about this game, but I think it's important to give credit where it's due. The presentation, overall, is quite good
  • The simple geometry of the world and characters belies the browser game origins, but everything is colorful and detailed enough that it looks good regardless of that fact
  • The orchestral score is also excellent. Even when I was having a bad time with the game, at least I could zone out and enjoy the soundtrack
  • The rest of the sound design is good too, with screams, thunder, breaking glass, all feeling appropriately scary and silly as intended

Story & Vibes
This subheader intentionally left blank
  • If there's any lore or other hidden narrative to Haunt the House: Terrortown (HtH:T), I certainly didn't find it
  • The only hint you get is at the beginning of the game when the narrator offhandedly mentions something about "reclaiming what was lost". This raises several questions
  • Is our ghost protagonist trying to scare people out of homes so ghosts can have them? Is that what this is all for? Real estate? There are certainly worse investments, but what are you supposed to do with capital when you're dead?
  • All that's left is the vibe, which is fairly chill and charming for all of 15 minutes until you realize that there's basically nothing to do in the game

Playability & Replayability
Immediately boring
  • Despite "Terrortown" being only one of the four scenarios offered to the player (the others including a train, a mansion, and a Christmas scenario at the North Pole), it hardly matters. The basic gameplay loop in each one is identical
  • You take the control of a little ghost who flies around trying to scare all humans out of each building you encounter
  • You do this by hovering over an object, possessing it, and mashing a button to perform some spooky action with it that will scare humans in the vicinity
  • Doing this over and over with different objects will change the atmosphere of the building, staring at "relaxed" and topping off with "terrifying". The scarier the atmosphere, the easier it is to scare off humans
  • Making the atmosphere scarier will also give you additional, more frightening actions when you possess objects
  • After you've scared everyone in the building away, you can begin the process again in a different building
  • That's it. The game never changes. It's just this over and over again until everyone is scared, you receive a grade for your time, and the game mercifully ends
  • The tedium wouldn't be so bad if the humans behaved or moved predictably. Most gameplay just involves scaring everyone towards a door or window and the mashing a button until they finally decide to leave
  • Because your scares mostly just seem like mere suggestions, this becomes frustrating almost immediately. I stopped having fun withing 5 minutes
  • I don't foresee ever installing or playing this game again. I'm very done with it

Overall Impressions & Performance
Who is this for?
  • After finishing all the scenarios, I was left with a really negative impression. I just have a hard time believing that this passes for entertainment
  • All you do is mash a button and wait for something to possibly happen. It feels like an utter waste of time
  • I think I picked the worst possible entry point for this dev's catalog. All of their other games look good, especially Crow Country (though their PnC games look fun as well), so I'm definitely not going to write them off yet
  • Serves me right for not looking up a gameplay video first. Just be warned; everything you see within the first 30 seconds of the game is identical to the rest of it other than the backdrop
  • Even if you're just looking to mindlessly waste time, go play Vampire Survivors or something
  • I keep seeing nostalgia for this game in other reviews. I just don't see why. This doesn't even clear the lowest bar for "fun"
  • It played well on the Steam Deck, but I'm gonna go ahead a recommend that you use the storage space for something better

Final Verdict
- 1.5/10. The presentation is nice, but this is otherwise a poor use of your time. Don't make the same mistake as me; give literally any of the devs other games a shot
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