drewseffi's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 2 Apr, 2017 @ 12:20pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 13 Oct, 2017 @ 4:11am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 2 May, 2023 @ 5:45am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 5 May, 2023 @ 5:08am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 3 Apr, 2017 @ 3:45am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 4 May, 2023 @ 8:24am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 3 Apr, 2017 @ 4:05am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 2 May, 2023 @ 6:44am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 2 May, 2023 @ 7:26am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 4 May, 2023 @ 6:37am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 4 May, 2023 @ 7:37am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 4 May, 2023 @ 8:22am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 5 May, 2023 @ 3:50am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 8 May, 2023 @ 11:24am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 4 May, 2023 @ 6:51am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 4 May, 2023 @ 12:04pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 2 May, 2023 @ 7:05am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 2 May, 2023 @ 7:21am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 5 May, 2023 @ 4:30am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 5 May, 2023 @ 3:20am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 5 May, 2023 @ 7:36am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 4 May, 2023 @ 12:33pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 3 Apr, 2017 @ 11:59am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 2 Apr, 2017 @ 12:24pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 4 May, 2023 @ 6:47am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 5 May, 2023 @ 3:09am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 5 May, 2023 @ 6:02am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 4 May, 2023 @ 6:49am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 5 May, 2023 @ 3:24am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 3 Apr, 2017 @ 3:18am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 2 May, 2023 @ 5:45am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 2 May, 2023 @ 9:03am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 2 May, 2023 @ 8:48am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 5 May, 2023 @ 5:35am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 4 May, 2023 @ 8:02am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 4 May, 2023 @ 12:06pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 4 May, 2023 @ 6:38am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 3 Apr, 2017 @ 3:47am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 3 Apr, 2017 @ 11:49am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 5 May, 2023 @ 4:53am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 3 Apr, 2017 @ 3:40am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 3 Apr, 2017 @ 3:21am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 4 May, 2023 @ 12:10pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 3 Apr, 2017 @ 11:59am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 2 May, 2023 @ 7:09am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 5 May, 2023 @ 3:56am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 5 May, 2023 @ 3:09am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 5 May, 2023 @ 5:24am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 5 May, 2023 @ 3:54am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 2 May, 2023 @ 6:08am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 2 May, 2023 @ 5:57am

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 4 May, 2023 @ 7:01am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 5 May, 2023 @ 4:03am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 5 May, 2023 @ 3:55am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 4 May, 2023 @ 12:33pm

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.

Unlocked 4 May, 2023 @ 7:30am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 2 May, 2023 @ 8:48am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 5 May, 2023 @ 3:52am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 5 May, 2023 @ 7:52am

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 5 May, 2023 @ 7:34am

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 5 May, 2023 @ 7:49am

PooMasher

Bought the toilet paper instead of stealing it.

Unlocked 5 May, 2023 @ 8:10am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 5 May, 2023 @ 7:34am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 5 May, 2023 @ 3:54am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 5 May, 2023 @ 5:30am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

28 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

1 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

4 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000