🏄DiLdO_StVoL 🌴's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2021 @ 8:01am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2021 @ 5:46am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2021 @ 8:30am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2021 @ 8:15am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2021 @ 8:34am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2022 @ 4:21am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2021 @ 9:11am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2021 @ 7:34am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2021 @ 4:35am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2021 @ 10:51am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 19 Dec, 2021 @ 4:57am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 31 Jan, 2022 @ 12:31pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 4 Feb, 2022 @ 6:37am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 22 Dec, 2021 @ 11:49pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2021 @ 8:53am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2021 @ 7:21am

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2022 @ 2:59am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2021 @ 5:30am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2022 @ 3:53am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 28 Jul, 2022 @ 1:18pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2021 @ 3:56am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 28 Jul, 2022 @ 1:33pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2021 @ 8:01am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 31 Jan, 2022 @ 11:57am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2021 @ 7:33am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2021 @ 9:32am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2021 @ 8:32am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2021 @ 7:54am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 19 Dec, 2021 @ 3:29am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 9 Apr, 2022 @ 3:58am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2021 @ 10:55am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 4 Feb, 2022 @ 5:53am

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2022 @ 6:19am

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2022 @ 11:35pm

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2022 @ 6:15am

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Unlocked 19 Dec, 2021 @ 5:00am

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Unlocked 19 Dec, 2021 @ 5:16am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2021 @ 8:34am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2021 @ 8:30am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2021 @ 10:45am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2021 @ 7:54am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2021 @ 10:13am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 31 Jan, 2022 @ 12:08pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2021 @ 9:14am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2021 @ 8:23am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2021 @ 9:17am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2021 @ 7:52am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2021 @ 7:55am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2021 @ 8:05am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2021 @ 9:17am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 19 Dec, 2021 @ 8:58am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2021 @ 7:29am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2021 @ 8:04am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2021 @ 7:07am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2021 @ 8:19am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2021 @ 9:16am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2022 @ 3:21am

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 19 Dec, 2021 @ 4:20am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2022 @ 3:56am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 31 Jan, 2022 @ 8:38am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 30 Jan, 2022 @ 5:08am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 4 Feb, 2022 @ 6:44am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 23 Dec, 2021 @ 12:06am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 29 Jan, 2022 @ 12:30pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 13 Nov, 2022 @ 9:25am

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

15 / 20

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

410 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

27 / 30