Recent reviews by eve from stellar blade

Terrible game - Dice have ♥♥♥♥ the bed on this one, EA doesn't give a ♥♥♥♥ and isn't giving out refunds. 2 months and the game is still terrible and their going free to play, £80 spent for it to go ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ free to play.

♥♥♥♥ you dice and ♥♥♥♥ you EA you bastards.

its bad

why the ♥♥♥♥ is this still 40 dingery dollars

runs like a call of duty game

sh1t

the models look like mannequins
the map loses shade and texture
the guns are ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ wank
♥♥♥♥ you

hello my name is decrypt and my objectives are to play da video games and slay the ♥♥♥♥♥. in this game i did it.

bought it thinking it was going to be a serious game about slicing stuff up.


i arm barred the senator on top of a metal gear and then i took a picture of his ass for my profile.

nanomachinesson/10

this game makes you want to don a mask then murder your family.

10/10 would murder my family again.

I would rather pay £30 to get a 2K employee to punch me in the face than deal with this ♥♥♥♥ again.

10/10 rip civ 6-ign

my friends laugh at me for playing this game, but while they're playing sweaty manly men modern ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ game im playing this, sweating my tits out and fiddling with my xbox controller to try kill a 12 year old playing as a big titted nurse.

just buy the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ game

for yourself

and your friends

but not your grandma

i ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hate grandmas.

ON MY FIRST DAY I GOT ATTACKED BY A BIDET

I NEED MY EUROPEAN PARENTS TO COME PICK ME UP BECAUSE

ITS TOO ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ HYPE5ME

"Do you reccomend this game?" DAMN STRAIGHT SON