Recent reviews by Dal420

Barely functional amateur made game.

Could have been decent if some actual thought and effort went into it.

And shove nightmare mode up your ass.

"Microids, did you copy Nintendo's homework?"

Microids: https://im.indiatimes.in/media/content/2016/Feb/3_1454395165.gif

Buy it full price.

It's great value.

Both the tables are awesome, especially Epic Quest which is just plain fun amazingness.

And it's for charity.*

*(For anyone who doesn't think putting pinball tables in hospitals for kids is a big deal, I spent some time in the hospital with ulcerative colitis at 18, and the hospital made accommodations to provide me with a PS2 to use in my room. I can't tell you how tremendously much that helped or meant to me, but it's part of why I made it through that.)

Maybe I have a predisposition to liking certain tables because of theme, but I absolutely love this table.

The music and sound effects, voice acting, and the overall table fun-factor are all superb. It may even be my favourite table of all time, but it's at least definitely one of my top.

My mom adored the Charlie Brown Christmas special, and Charlie Brown in general. One year for Christmas I saw the Charlie Brown Christmas tree for sale in a flyer and I knew that I had to get it for her.

We had a Charlie Brown themed Christmas for a few years before she passed away from breast cancer in 2014.

I still have the tree set up this year.

I'm not telling this story to farm awards or to be sentimental. I'm just telling it to explain why I love this table so much and to thank Zen for the awesome experience.

I got my Christmas present already.

(100% achievements on XBox PC Game Pass - ON SERIOUS DIFFICULTY ((didn't think I needed to mention that, but there is a pathetic group of "git gud" fanboys magnetised to this pos game)). Didn't like it then, don't like it now.)
I couldn't wait for this game to come out when I saw the initial trailers.
What a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ mess.
The most annoying sounding enemies in any video game ever made.
Pop-in textures.
Bugs and glitches galore.
Floaty enemies that seem to move at inconsistent speeds and sometimes flash past you faster than you can turn around, as explosive kamikaze enemies charge at you from every side constantly.
Stuttering game play.
Starting weapons are garbage. Pistol and slow. as. ♥♥♥♥. shotgun in a horde shooter. ♥♥♥♥ off.
Loading times that can also ♥♥♥♥ right off. Some of the worst I've ever seen.
Save any time you want, but it lowers your score, because Croteam has never understood the concept of implementing a decent checkpoint system.
Cheesy dialogue that is mercilessly repetitive.
Unnecessarily massive levels with next to ♥♥♥♥ all in them.
Absurdly hidden secrets that rely on abysmal platforming, all while on a timer that affects your score (why anyone would give a single shadow of a flying ♥♥♥♥ about said score is another matter entirely).
Not sure why insulting the Catholic religion has become a field day. Not okay to do this to any other creed, race or culture, but hey, let's have a shotgun toting priest and the Pope bot 3000, because why the ♥♥♥♥ not?
All I ever hear about this days is inclusiveness and tolerance of other people, but only if there is a politically motivated agenda behind it. Otherwise, I guess it's fine to insult an entire demographic.
A showcased legion system which is used at the start of the game for fifteen seconds, and then at the end, both of which are the exact same segment.
Plus, I'm not at all a fan of that part even when you do finally get to it, because the grappling hook fight against the last boss was ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ irritating.
Duke Nukem > Serious Sam.
I want to like Serious Sam. I keep trying to get into the series, but I just keep hating it more with each one that I play.
Regardless, I still have stupidly optimistic and misplaced hopes for "Siberian Mayhem". Don't ask why.

Ignore my play time, since I've put about a dozen hours into this game on Xbox game pass. For some reason I still bought it, but I regret that now.
I love Smash TV and I hate it when people compare this game to that one. I really wish someone would make an updated Smash TV, because this isn't it.
Smash has you on an intergalactic violent TV show mowing down hordes of enemies and collecting tons of cash and prizes. Items and power-ups were everywhere, and it took a while to get bored playing it. The entire experience was fun and exciting. The game played far more basic than this one, and the only main difference is really the theme of the two games, but I'm still fond of Smash TV twenty years later.
Enter Xenocrisis which people claim is as good as Smash. Xenocrisis has you going room to room gunning down mostly the same aliens over and over with limited ammo for your main gun, forcing you to use a comically garbage and damn near useless melee attack. That's it.
The only similarities between this and Smash TV are that they are both room to room arena shooters.
It all feels generic; weapons, power ups, and enemies. There's nothing new here that hasn't been seen a hundred times before in countless numbers of games.
There's barely any reason to replay this.
The two "characters" are literally gender palette swapped mirror images of each other.
Enemies layer over top of each other, they spawn right on top of you, they are repetitive as all unholy hell, there's nowhere near enough pickups and variety to keep it interesting, and personally I got bored of it all real quick.
"Randomised" room layout, with the general order of progression being exactly the same every time. It's only the illusion of random, and a goofy parlour trick at best.
Enemy bullets are way to hard to see, and this results in taking several cheap hits which could have been easily dodged.
Even despite all of this, the game could still be playable if it wasn't for it's greatest flaw: enemies that spawn directly beneath you, or fall on your head with no warning. This is the ultimate game design flaw, and I assume the only reason the developer left it this way is to add artificial difficulty.
If you're going to mimic a classic game, it should be at least as good as the game it wants to imitate, if not better. Otherwise there's no point, and we get games like Xenocrisis.
I'd recommend picking it up for a couple bucks if you really want to check it out, but I paid five dollars and even that's too much for what you get.

If I had a physical copy of this card game, the cards wouldn't even be worth wiping my ass with.

Pay to win slice of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ cancer cake designed to feed the whales and milk the Games Workshop license.

GO ♥♥♥♥ YOURSELVES EVERCUNTS!

I enjoyed this game FAR more than the first one... which isn't that hard because I hate the first one.
Still, it really is a great game and fully worth checking out.
So many improvements were made:
- double jump
- less knock back from getting hit
- better weapon selection (better control layout overall)
- actually being able to aim
And plenty more, but those are the main ones that made me happy. The entire thing feels enjoyable to play, compared to number one which was an extreme exercise in frustration.
Guns, Gore and Cannoli 2 I recommend for sure, but not number one, which is absolute ♥♥♥♥. I think this is even a superior game to the newer Shootas, Blood & Teef which, although it is still fun, feels like a more shallow experience (I love both zombies and 40k a lot, but 40k slightly more, so this is a tough call).
That said, I've still got 100% achievements in under five hours, and that was not through any effort. There are no achievements for hard or impossible difficulty in this one, but I'll probably go back and play through those difficulties anyways because I actually like this game.
Bravo on doing a great job with this sequel. You took the turd that was the first game and turned it into gold.

Broken game. Crashes during tutorial every time.
I wish I could have played it before the devs ♥♥♥♥♥♥ off to work on "Void Bastards" (at least it's awesome), leaving this game to another "competent" team (their words, not mine).

1. DJ Atomica, with such famous quotes as:
"Got sent a pic of a racer making their way across town. It's a tiny pic, but I'm pretty sure I can see them boosting. Go baby go." - DJ Atomica
2. The slo-mo cam. If there was an option to skip it, it would be fine. But there isn't, so it's not.
3. The Paradise City theme song. Thank the Lord above that you can turn it off in game, but you still have to hear it every time you start the game up. It's such a repetitive ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ song too.
4. Having to memorise this convoluted nightmare maze of a city. Some people might enjoy it, but this is my third or fourth time playing, and it's still a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ pain in the ass. I hate it.
5. The menu system can burn in hell.
6. The fact that they've released this game a bajillion and seven times over, but refuse to make a new Burnout game.
7. STOP ASKING ME TO TAKE A ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ PHOTO!!!
8. The "ULTIMATE BIG BOX" fiasco was enough alone to earn EA a negative review towards this game. I want my money back.

Maybe it's because I've played it so many times, but I'm sick to death of this piece of ♥♥♥♥. I just want a new Burnout already, or a game that is as good as Burnout Revenge was - or just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ remake that already.
The only reason I'm even still playing this POS is because the DLC for this game is such a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ mess, that even though I've bought it about six times, I've never fully had a chance to enjoy all the DLC and Big Surf Island due to EA bs ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ in one form or another.
I like the road rages, finding shortcuts and smashing billboards. Unlocking new rides is fun too, but that's about the extent of the good things that I have to say about Burnout Paradise.
Marked man is whatever, the stunts are ♥♥♥♥ because you crash way to easily and are too spread out, and races are hell having to navigate through this piss hole city.
Definitely worth a try if you've never played it. Nobody really does car carnage like Burnout does, and I love the series overall, but not this game. I don't completely hate it, but I'm ready for a new Burnout, and I can't recommend this to anyone who's played it before already. Move on, and stop supporting this trash or they'll never make a new one and we'll end up with another seven versions of this roller coaster ♥♥♥♥ festival.

Get your ♥♥♥♥ together already EA. You guys used to make epic racing games. The hell happened? (*cough* greed)
The fans deserve better.