he bellows and charges forward

I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter

I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back

"...requiescat in pace..."

As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers

"So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...?

"No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..."

I sheath my sword

"You're not my type."

skate away on my Heelys

"Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!"

I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind

"Hahaha look at what this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of ♥♥♥♥!"

I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst

generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing

"Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady."

"♥♥♥♥ you ♥♥♥♥♥♥!"

I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them

"As you wish..."

I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react

stroll into my local GameStop

looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac

grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register

"Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..."

she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves

her eyes widen as she reads the game's title

Based? Based on what? In your ♥♥♥♥? Please shut the ♥♥♥♥ up and use words properly you ♥♥♥♥♥♥ troglodyte, do you think God gave us a freedom of speech just to spew random words that have no meaning that doesn't even correllate to the topic of the conversation? Like please you always complain about why no one talks to you or no one expresses their opinions on you because you're always spewing random ♥♥♥♥ like poggers based cringe and when you try to explain what it is and you just say that it's funny like what? What the ♥♥♥♥ is funny about that do you think you'll just become a stand-up comedian that will get a standing ovation just because you said "♥♥♥" in the stage? HELL NO YOU ♥♥♥♥♥♥ IDIOT, so please shut the ♥♥♥♥ up and use words properly

ur profile pic is pp

nice