Recent reviews by 𝕮𝖗𝖚𝖉𝕯

Impressively solid and generously lengthy demo/intro for what promises to be (based on my experience here) a very solid horror-themed first-person shooter with fast, mobility-focused combat that feels very nice.

A dark, brooding atmosphere and sound design that are quite immersive, weapons with some serious chonk and enemy designs that are kinda disturbing.

This appetizer had the desired effect on me devs, I want more and I'm looking forward to the full experience.

Definite recommend.

Monument is a short attempt at a retro-styled FPS that has a few too many gameplay and design issues preventing me from recommending it, despite the low pricetag.
The game currently has a "Mostly Positive" overall review score, so clearly players exist who have managed to squeeze some enjoyment out of Monument. But even though I genuinely tried and saw the game through to its end, I was never able to truly enjoy my time with it.

• 4 maps + a boss map = it's over relatively quickly.
  
• It's reasonably priced.
  
• It ran smoothly and stably.
  
• Mouse Y-axis invert and key rebinding options.
  
• Easy achievements and trading cards (If you care about that).
  

• Movement feels painfully slow and clunky to me, like your char has cinderblocks duct taped to their ankles. The strafe jumping that was added at some point in an update also just feels "off" somehow.
  
  
• An annoyingly aggressive auto-save function that consistently saved at the worst possible times, and apparently can't be turned off even though the game has a quicksave feature. I lost count of all the times the game autosaved just after spawning in a group of enemies to surround me, or when I was ankle-deep in lava or toxic goo. Trust me, use quicksave and do not depend on the autosaves.
  
  
• Monument's weapons (a pistol, a double-barreled shotgun, an assault rifle, a long-range rifle, and an energy rifle (or plasma rifle? Still not sure) are all kind of crudely modeled, barely animated and have just plain bad sound effects, but they're accurate enough I guess. The part that hurts the most, though, is the shotgun: I'm sorry, but it's drippy, foetid ass. And as far as I'm concerned, there's literally no greater sin that a FPS can commit than having a lame shotty. A complete lack of any explosive weapon tops off the disappointment.
  
  
• Monument's enemies are also crudely modeled, poorly animated and have equally bad sound effects. Honestly I can overlook that sort of thing so long as the combat is still fun/engaging/challenging, but IMO that's not the case here. It doesn't help that almost all of Monument's enemies like to get in close, and it's at that point that you'll learn this is one of those games where enemies who get in close will damage you via proximity alone, swing/fire animations be damned. I cannot stress enough how much I hate when games do that.
  
  
• I experienced numerous bugs in addition to the annoyances mentioned above, which included (but weren't limited to) repeatedly getting stuck on the environment (primarily on rock debris brushes placed on the floors in almost every room), options like vsync needing to be re-set every time you launch the game, and more than once after dying and loading back into the map either all enemies would become impervious to damage (while still being able to freely light my ass up) or both the enemies AND I would be impervious to damage and I got to watch them show off their stiff, creaky attack animations. There's more, but the cons I've listed here are basically just the things that bugged me more than any of the other stuff did.

Believe it or not, I get zero pleasure from ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ on a game developer's work. I don't like writing negative reviews. And frankly, negatively reviewing a game by a solo indie developer that only costs 2 clams feels especially icky.

That said, fact is around every five to ten minutes of the roughly two-and-a-half hours it took me to play through Monument on the hardest difficulty, I wanted to boop it on its snout with a rolled-up newspaper while exclaiming in a firm voice "BAD game, BAD!"

Yes, this game annoyed me to the point that I morphed into a crabby grandpa.

Monument isn't complete garbage, it's mostly functional and it ran well. Its biggest weaknesses in my view are just being quite clunky, unpolished, plagued with what I consider to be bad development choices and being unremarkable overall, with no standout element that sets it in any way apart from the legion of mediocre cookie-cutter first person shooters that are equally bereft of any originality or creativity. It's the sort of game that most people who buy it will play once and never play it again, and most of those ppl will probably never even bother to finish it.

On a side note, it's puzzling to see so many reviews that state Monument is similar to Quake. Aside from both games being first person shooters with guns and lava pools, they couldn't be further apart in terms of pretty much all other relevant metrics. It's not a fair comparison.

Ultimately though, if after reading this you still want to take Monument for a spin, it's priced to move so even if you subsequently come to the same conclusions I have, you're only out two bucks.

So yeah, can't honestly recommend Monument. As always though, YMMV.

Standalone release of David Szymanski's submission to the initial Dread X Collection. Additional lore, an extended ending and some greatly appreciated quality of life improvements make this the definitive version. It's a short playthrough, but it sports Szymanski's trademark rock-solid shooting, a sense of humor amid the tension, and there's honestly not a single dull moment to be found. I enjoyed and wholeheartedly recommend The Pony Factory, even if you already own DXC. But as always, your mileage may vary.

• Snack-sized Szymanski shooterin' with the same level of quality and care that has become a trademark of his body of work.
  
  
• Black-and-white palette with excellent use of light and shadow bolsters the creep factor.
  
  
• Key rebinding and mouse Y-axis invert options.
  
  
• A few additional notes to find, and a boss fight has been added to the ending sequence.

• The disillusioning realization that Hell can't be trusted to honor their end of an agreement. I mean what the hell, Hell?

Short, fun and intense shooter from the man who seems incapable of putting out anything but bangers.
If you've read this far and you think you'd enjoy TPF, buy it without hesitation. And then play it without regrets.
Definite recommend from me.

God Is Coming.

• Short and sweet, like squirrel meat.
  
• The new gold standard for hunting sims.
  
• Key rebinding and mouse Y-axis invert options.
  
• God Is Coming.

• Your wife.
  
• God Is Coming.

Would God be angered if I stapled, say, lemurs to my wife?
Discuss, theologians.

Edit (11/21/23):
Steam awards nomination time is upon us.
I voted Squirrel Stapler best game to play on steam deck!
Wait.. I don't even own a steam deck..(?)

[Cue "Unsolved Mysteries" theme song]

Summary (TL;DR):

Metal: Hellsinger is an intense (and intensely fun) first person shooter slash rhythm game hybrid that nails its presentation and thankfully also sports solid shooting mechanics, fluid character movement and a tracklist that boasts vocals by some true heavy hitters of the modern metal era.

What Rules -

• Speaking as someone who plays a lot of first person shooters but who doesn't really play rhythm games, I found Metal: Hellsinger to be a fun, challenging, satisfying and accessible experience.
  
• I had zero bugs or instability.
  
  
• The game ran at a steady 60fps@1080p.
  
  
• The soundtrack has some solid songs.

What Stinks -

• In my opinion some songs are stronger than others
  
  
• Troy Baker's folksy Sam Elliot impression got old after hearing it punctuate every death/timeout in Torments.

My Thoughts:

I really liked Metal: Hellsinger, but if I've failed to sell you on it that's understandable. You're in luck though, since this game has something that used to be pretty standard for PC game releases (and seems lately to be making a bit of a comeback): a playable demo. Take advantage of this fact, no game review can measure up to forming your own opinion based on personal experience.

I'd break it down as follows:

If you love rhythm games but don't like heavy metal or first person shooters, you probably won't like this.

If you love rhythm games and heavy metal but don't like first person shooters, you may still like this but it will challenge you.

If you love first person shooters and heavy metal but don't like rhythm games (I fall into this category), you'll probably still like or maybe even love this.

Metal: Hellsinger is exactly what I expected it to be because it's exactly what it said it would be. A hellforged double metalhorns-up from me, but as always your mileage may vary.

Edit (8/22/23)
It's been roughly a year and a half, three annual pass content updates and around 400 additional hours of playtime since initially writing this, so I'm updating to better reflect the game as it stands today.


1-4 player "navigate from A to B while fighting off hordes of (fill in the blank)" coop first-person shooter that's IMO fun, challenging and worth taking for a spin. It feels comfortably familiar to me, even with the gameplay additions of a card system and the requirement of a bit more planning.
Also, a heads-up to prospective purchasers: After fulfilling their annual pass content obligations over the course of 2022 with the releases of Tunnels of Terror, Children of the Worm (Act 5) and River of Blood (Act 6), Turtle Rock have announced that B4B will not be receiving any more content updates. They say the game will remain online and playable for the forseeable future, but there are currently no plans for releasing any new content/Acts. While I'm personally ok with it since IMO the game now has enough content to be considered complete, this news coupled with the game's lack of modding support makes me adjust my verdict from "Yes, definitely buy" to "I love it and would still recommend it, but only at a significant discount". As always though, your mileage may vary.

• Enjoyable co-op gameplay that rewards tight teamwork.
  
  
• Solid gunplay that requires precision, good reflexes and mindfulness of your surroundings. The guns look, sound and feel good to me.
  
  
• A card system where you create customized decks that you select at the start of an Act to complement your own playstyle and/or to help you offer extra support to your team. Originally you would choose 1 card to play from your deck at the start of each map, building up the player's strengths slowly over the course of the Act. This was eventually changed to a system where the player selects their deck at the beginning of an Act and all cards are granted from the start. Some players aren't happy with this change, and I see their point, but I think I actually like this way better. It does remove a layer of strategy but imo it makes the system more accessible, and the burn cards (unique one-time-use cards you also unlock in supply lines that can be played at the start of each map but can't be placed in decks) can be useful even with a full deck start. It would be cool if players who prefer the old system had the option to choose it over the new one though.
  
  
• Friendly AI was originally under "What Stinks", but B4B's bots are now imo fairly decent. They're certainly much better than they were at launch, believe me. That said though, as with most bots in games of this type it's a mixed bag. On the plus side, they'll routinely drop ammo, heal you, ping enemies and weapons/items, and mostly hold their own in fights. As of the River of Blood update they'll now also pick up player-pinged items like toolkits/duffelbags and will use toolkits on pinged alarm/stash doors. However, they will also constantly position themselves directly in your line of fire, toss throwables either too early, too late or against walls like they think they has teh wallhax, and almost always fail spectacularly in any serious manner of clutch. Overall, they're more competent now but still no better than you should reasonably expect.
  
  
• Tony Todd, Motorhead and Robert Johnson. I approve.
  
  
• Hoffman and Karlee, the only characters with actual personalities.

• The fact that there will be no further first-party content along with no official modding support. As mentioned earlier I'm personally ok with the amount that's available now, but no modding support was already a sticking point for a lot of ppl even before the announcement of no future content. While It would still be great if modding support was added, considering the disappointing reality that Turtle Rock allowed themselves to be absorbed by TurdScent not too long before this announcement was made I gotta say, in a way I'm kind of glad they ended support before their new overlords could pressure them into cramming the game full of icky, tumerous microtransactions. Don't worry though because TurdScent failed to inject any of their greasiness into the game, so hooray for that at least. In addition to the many obvious reasons this aquisition is saddening, it kinda stinks knowing that B4B could very well be the last good game we ever see from TRS.
  
  
• Centralised servers with no options for player-hosted LAN or listen servers. "Live Service Games" is a concept that I would enjoy watching die a slow painful death.
  
  
• Playing with randos. Whether they're on PC or console, at least one out of every three players you team with will play as if they're doing a solo run and all other players in the team are bots whose only purpose is to support them as they leeroy ahead hoovering up all the goodies. The higher difficulties are usually a better choice for matching with skilled players, but on Recruit and even Veteran difficulties you're often going to be teamed with ppl who don't seem to have much interest in the concept of teamwork. Turning crossplay off means you won't get matched with console players (Not saying all console players are bad, but in my experience the one player I described above is more often than not a console player), but it also shrinks your overall player pool and it won't magically raise the competency level of the PC players you match with. In other words, whether crossplay is enabled or diabled you're still going to have to suffer some fools when playing with randoms. Of course, if you have 3 or more pals who own and enjoy the game, you need never experience this.
  

The game had a rocky start to be sure: Truthfully if I had written the initial unedited review just after B4B launched, the What Stinks section would have definitely been a longer list. The difficulty was ridiculously imbalanced in the ridden's favor and I'm certain there were plenty who ragequit this game, refunded and never looked back in those early post-launch days. I honestly can't blame them either, the game would repeatedly hold you down and bad touch your booty while giving zero ♥♥♥♥♥. Good news though, they did eventually succeed in balancing things out pretty well. You can play on Recruit or Veteran difficulties and have fun without a whole lot of sweat, or play on Nightmare or No Hope difficulties and indulge your inner masochistic tryhard. Another common and valid complaint from those early days was that the game lacked content, but the releases of Tunnels of Terror + Act 5 + Act 6 have IMO granted B4B enough content to be considered a full game. That said, it would be inarguably fantastic for official mod support to be introduced to the game now that they're not planning any further content additions. Considering the live service ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and Warner being the publisher however, I don't hold out much hope for it. Most likely B4B WILL remain online and playable for the forseeable future, I just think it's important to point out to those who are considering buying it in 2023 and beyond that at some point the plug will be unceremoniously pulled, the servers will come down and the game will be no more. One of the many reasons why I personally feel anyone who advocates for "games as a service" should be strangled in front of their family on Christmas morning.

To sum up: Back 4 Blood still gets a solid thumbs-up from me but at this point, I'd suggest waiting until you can get the base game + annual pass for $30 or less in a sale.

(Edit - 11/30/24)
Three years later, I'm making good on the promise to flesh out this review since the game is now 1.0 and has left early access.


Devilated almost defies categorization. On its surface it may appear to be a typical throwback FPS where gameplay revolves around hunting keys to progress while being ganked by mobs of enemies and finding goodies-laden secrets. You know, the standard formula that DOOM established way back when. And it does in fact have these elements but it's also much more than just another FPS taking its cues from the past, and not at all what I think anyone could honestly call "typical". I love it and definitely recommend to FPS fans looking for something that's a bit different from the average fare.

• Fast, frantic combat that requires prudent use of Deer 315's expanded mobility, which is thankfully smooth as silk and feels great.
  
  
• Weaponry that is completely packed to the brim with insanity, ranging from "hey, this gun looks normal" (It isn't) to "What the ♥♥♥♥?" (in a good way).
  
  
• An irreverent sense of humor that is chock full of references.
  
  
• Deer 315 (voiced by Gianni Matragrano, who does a fantastic job here) is a one-liner machine who infuses a lot of humor and personality into the game.

• While I like the soundtrack overall I wish there was a little more variation, especially in the battle tracks. What is here though is appropriately heavy and matches the game's tone.
  
  
• Some of the boss fights can be frustrating due to (IMO) two things: the necessary method for defeating them not always being readily apparent until you've died and retried a few times, and some of them will spam attacks that have screen-filling effects that leave you literally unable to see anything, all while trying to avoid damage from summoned mobs and navigating arenas that almost all require a bit of platforming. On the topic of bosses, I'm not a fan of multi-phase boss fights in first person shooters (Thanks for the PTSD, Turbo Overkill) but that's more of a personal nitpick.

Devilated for sure has a unique vibe going, with style and a sense of humor that's all its own. It never goes very long without reminding the player that it doesn't take itself or its narrative super seriously and the object here is to have fun slaughtering enemies while spitting one-liners, not to excrete buckets of sweat. That's not saying the game is easy, it's not (especially in the later levels) I just mean that tonally Devilated is never up its own ass, and I love that.

I wholeheartedly recommend Devilated, but as always YMMV.

Fantastic reverse horror game from the folks who brought us Butcher that succeeds at what it sets out to do. Controls, audio, ambiance and pixely visuals are all top notch. Feed upon the puny humans, paint the walls with their hemoglobin, and punish them for their hubris.

Remember, you're not trapped in here with them, they're trapped in here with YOU.

10/10

Angry man embarks on rampage, slaughtering entire rural community for their unorthodox religious beliefs.

Local authorities are not releasing the assailant's name to the public, due to said local authorities being recently gibbed.

Law enforcement has declined comment on whether the massacre was motivated by hate, saying only that the gunman (whom the press have dubbed "The Intruder"), is armed, dangerous, and loves soap.

Many have tried, few have succeeded.

DUSK succeeds.

10/10

Quadrant succeeds in delivering a short but tense first-person horror adventure, provided you're not expecting a $5 game to measure up to the genre's AAA heavy-hitters.

• Solid Horror Adventure gameplay sprinkled with small bits of action, stealth, puzzling, and (limited) exploration
  
• Good level design with some effective use of light and shadow
  
• Great music and overall decent sound design helps cement the atmosphere
  
• Key customization and mouse y-axis invert options
  
• Small list of easy achievements

• No replay value. With its straightforward storyline (and seemingly inconsequential "alternate" ending), Quadrant won't inspire multiple playthroughs.
  
• Gotta love falling through the map. It only happened once, but it happened.
  
• Aether Research Facility is as well-lit as the inside of a bowling ball.
  
• The ceiling monsters' animations. Oof.

Despite a tiny bit of jank here and there, Quadrant IMO outshines many other first-person indie horror titles in its price range, and demonstrates that quality can be achieved by dedicated developers on a small budget.