Class, today we have an extraordinarily distinguished guest. Mr Buckner is an American who went to the finest university in the United States, Havard. But despite his prestigious education, Mr Buckner still thinks that baseball is better than football.

[Boys jeering]

I know, boys. It's an utter sin. It's our job to save this heathen from his evil ways and teach him what really matters in life, and that is ?

Football ! (Exactly) -Hooligans-