-rep i saw him on the NEWS labelled as the "GIMBO GRINCH". this foul individual has been caught numerous times loitering around local CHRISTMAS markets with animositical intentions. experts have discovered TRACES of his DNA in the RECTUMS of in-store TURKEYS for sale. local authorities have advised to THOROUGHLY decontaminate turkey INNARDS prior to consumption to avoid GIMBO GRINCH-related hygiene issues.

-rep this guy has INSECTS in his skin RUBBING against his VEINS. these insects have found to be HIGHLY contagious when present with LATEX PEOPLE. as a result, this man is the PRIME SUSPECT for this outbreak due to high doses of BALDING PILLS. if you see a BALD MAN itching his arm FEROCIOUSLY, please AVOID DIRECT SKIN CONTACT AT ALL COSTS. this man is BALD

-rep this man known as "Ronald Liverman" has BREACHED CONTAINMENT. Government officials and researchers recommend that if you live in the town home to 'The Liverman", that you should wrap LATEX tape around your BELLY to prevent UNAUTHORIZED liver contact. Should you feel threatened by this news, experts say your best chance at safety is to stock up on large volumes of LATEX and OIL as "Ronald Liverman" will target those items rather than a victim.

-rep this NEFARIOUS sun cricket has been non-consentually RUBBING MYSTERIOUS OIL on local surfaces. if you happen upon this DISTARDLY individual and/or SLICK surfaces, ARM YOURSELF with any form of handheld DEGREASER to maintain healthy & safety code and personal HYGIENE dignifications

-rep if your GAYDAR is going HOG WILD! it is STRONGLY recommended that you FREQUENTLY check behind thyself and that you DO NOT BEND OVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES

-rep on my block he is known as THE RUBBER MAN. if you suspect you may be within his vacinity (200m radius) it is URGENT that you carry LUBRICATION on your persons.