I am not omnipresent, I reside in a single location that changes every second. When I spawn near a human I stop time, prop up their arm and high five them. The event results in the human speaking Chinese backwards in Spanish at a speed increasing so fast the atoms of the mouth collide, causing the human to self destruct flinging him/her backwards in time to before I blessed their hand. This is why, how, and when people die. Witnesses go blind.