Последние обзоры Ciao Time

It's like if Audiosurf held a pistol to your head and said "THIS IS MY MUSIC NOW" while cackling maniacally.

It's good.

Thanks for alienating a huge part of your community to make some corporate overlord happy. #FreeOpenIV

I'd probably be a lot better at this game if the soundtrack didn't keep forcing my head to bob with subconscious approval.

So good.

Additional paid DLC for a premium paid benchmarking utility? What has the world come to.

"OH MY GOD WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW MORSE CODE THE LONG DAAAAHS AREN'T DOTS THEY'RE DASHES WOW DUDE I HAVE TWELVE SECONDS TO LIVE"

I sweat harder playing this game than I do after eating a bowl of Crisco and running a half-marathon back to back.

10/10

The game basically comes out in March. Right now, the utter lack of any and all joystick support (Even the official SFV sticks don't work!), the unreliable online servers and the half-finished offline options make it feel like a $60 beta. Fight Money's only rewarded when the servers are working, so there isn't any point in saving up for future characters right now anyway.

But this review's open to change if they tighten their belt buckle and fix the damn game. It's fun when it works, at least.

Ehhh, this one really isn't great. Caters heavily to a very sugar-addled crowd, with a lot of rapid-fire humor that isn't really all that funny. Even the positive reviews go into detail about how the gameplay itself is pretty par at best, which is certainly a statement I can agree with, and the low price of entry doesn't really change the fact that the game's core is lacking in chutzpah. Or fun.

Well, they've removed the vast majority of in-game microtransactions that prompted my last negative review. The festering stench of the original drill-only safes does still somewhat linger around, but it's a lot more acceptable than before. And the game's still fun! Good heavens, there's a lot of content for it nowadays, too.

I was on the verge of giving it a positive review.

Then, today, they released a $6 DLC so you can play as some random pudgy streamer guy and meme it up during a bank robbery.

-1 on principle. This is as dumb as putting Danica Patrick in a Sonic racing game.

-Extremely- brilliant product that treats its players with a genius level of respect. It adds mechanics to its core gameplay in confident strides that never feel forced or overthought. The defensive combat system starts as a simple bob-and-weave minigame, but the game toys with it until you're frantically trying to out-Dance Dance Revolution a totes adorbs fish monster who's trying to stab a glowing spear clean through your frail human heart. And it only gets tougher/funnier/more commendable from there.

I don't have any jokes that can top what this game threw at me for the last five hours of my first playthrough. It's great. Story's great. Immersion's great. Price is great.
srsly go buy it

Changing my positive review to a negative now that the beta period's ended and the game is a month since launch.

There's bugs in the release build that weren't in beta or alpha that have made it nearly impossible to enjoy the game, from cursor flickering and loss-of-input problems on my multi-monitor setup to being instakilled from dropship spawns when the intro sequence goes awry. Load times are abysmal, Wraith is a hot mess for any group of hunters to fight, and a good chunk of the game's maps are hidden behind a fairly half-baked marathon mode called Evacuation.

And not a single patch has hit since release day.

Honestly, the beta was better than this: the first two monsters are the most fun to fight, the map selection wasn't much different than in the release game's hunt mode, and somehow the whole experience was more stable than it is now. I can no longer recommend Evolve to anyone in good faith.