CeSium's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2016 @ 1:34pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2016 @ 2:08pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2016 @ 2:52pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2016 @ 2:54pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 11 May, 2016 @ 7:13pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2016 @ 2:17pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2016 @ 4:01pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 5 May, 2016 @ 6:56pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 7 May, 2016 @ 2:41pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 7 May, 2016 @ 5:10pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 7 May, 2016 @ 6:23pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 8 May, 2016 @ 10:37am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2016 @ 3:43pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 7 Jun, 2017 @ 11:23pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 7 May, 2016 @ 8:05pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 7 May, 2016 @ 7:03pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 7 May, 2016 @ 5:39pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 7 Jun, 2017 @ 11:43pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2016 @ 5:01pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 12 May, 2016 @ 6:27pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2016 @ 3:42pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 5 May, 2016 @ 6:48pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2016 @ 2:29pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 12 May, 2016 @ 6:17pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 7 May, 2016 @ 3:14pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 7 May, 2016 @ 5:51pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 22 May, 2016 @ 3:13pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 5 May, 2016 @ 8:03pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 7 May, 2016 @ 6:28pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 12 May, 2016 @ 6:20pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2016 @ 2:52pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 7 Jun, 2017 @ 10:03pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2016 @ 1:34pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 7 May, 2016 @ 2:51pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 7 May, 2016 @ 5:47pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 22 May, 2016 @ 3:16pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2016 @ 2:37pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2016 @ 2:13pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2016 @ 2:24pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 13 May, 2016 @ 3:35pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2016 @ 1:32pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2016 @ 2:31pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2016 @ 3:03pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2016 @ 2:29pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2016 @ 4:39pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2016 @ 3:31pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 7 May, 2016 @ 4:27pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 7 May, 2016 @ 2:53pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 22 May, 2016 @ 3:04pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 13 May, 2016 @ 2:27pm

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 7 Jun, 2017 @ 11:36pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2016 @ 8:34pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2016 @ 5:38pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 7 Jun, 2017 @ 11:20pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 8 May, 2016 @ 10:38am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 8 May, 2016 @ 12:19pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 8 May, 2016 @ 1:56pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 8 May, 2016 @ 4:13pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 10 May, 2016 @ 6:24pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 11 May, 2016 @ 7:46pm

PooMasher

Bought the toilet paper instead of stealing it.

Unlocked 8 May, 2016 @ 12:44pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 8 May, 2016 @ 3:19pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 11 May, 2016 @ 7:26pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 8 May, 2016 @ 4:12pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 8 May, 2016 @ 4:22pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

6 / 30

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

8 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

14 / 30