Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

sucks at garfield kart

you literally saved my life, bro. you've helped me through so much I probably wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for you. you're like a brother to me. thank you for everything, friend.

happy new year

+rep loved the head and knife up a$$ combo

+rep he obliterated my team with crisp 1 taps before sneaking up behind me and seductively moaning in my ear, "You just got csg'owned," right as he stabbed his thick long shaft into my backside. In a fit of rage I uninstalled csgo, unplugged my computer, and smashed it with my little league baseball bat. Thanks to him I was no longer able to play video games, so with my new-found free time I decided to see how many rubber ducks could fit up my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. As I am writing this, I am being carted inside the hospital so that they can perform surgery on me, as I can no longer sit down without passing out from the throbbing pain of the 17 rubber duckies stuck deep inside my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.