Bolesław Bierut's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 11 Sep, 2016 @ 1:19am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 11 Sep, 2016 @ 2:12am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 12 Sep, 2016 @ 11:17am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 11 Sep, 2016 @ 2:37am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 11 Sep, 2016 @ 3:34am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 19 Oct, 2016 @ 11:20am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2021 @ 2:17am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 6 Oct, 2016 @ 4:26am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 29 Mar, 2021 @ 5:13pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2021 @ 3:08am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 30 Mar, 2021 @ 7:36am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 30 Mar, 2021 @ 8:39am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 6 Oct, 2016 @ 4:41am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 29 Mar, 2021 @ 12:50pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 8 Oct, 2016 @ 12:11pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 11 Sep, 2016 @ 1:50am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 13 Jan, 2017 @ 11:30am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2017 @ 1:30am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 12 Sep, 2016 @ 11:17am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2021 @ 2:52am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 11 Sep, 2016 @ 1:29am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 8 Oct, 2016 @ 12:14pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 6 Oct, 2016 @ 4:38am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 11 Sep, 2016 @ 1:28am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 6 Oct, 2016 @ 4:18am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 13 Jan, 2017 @ 6:08am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 12 Sep, 2016 @ 11:30am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 11 Sep, 2016 @ 2:07am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 11 Sep, 2016 @ 1:09am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 6 Oct, 2016 @ 4:17am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 30 Mar, 2021 @ 12:41pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 6 Oct, 2016 @ 4:42am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 28 Mar, 2021 @ 1:14pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 6 Oct, 2016 @ 6:44am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 13 Jan, 2017 @ 6:00am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 29 Mar, 2021 @ 12:44pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 11 Sep, 2016 @ 3:38am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 8 Oct, 2016 @ 12:14pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 13 Jan, 2017 @ 9:23am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

13 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

7 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

6 / 30

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

7 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

2 / 30

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30