Hi, I'm George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents.

I always get the feeling that when lesbians are looking at me they’re thinking, that’s why I’m not a heterosexual


Jerry, just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it.




A George divided against itself cannot stand








If I owned a company, my employees would love me. They’d have huge pictures of me up the walls and in their home, like Lenin.


If she can’t find me, she can’t break up with me.

Your telling me that wine is better than Pepsi? no way wine is better than Pepsi.


George: Guys, hitting is not about muscle. It's simple physics. Calculate the velocity, v, in relation to the trajectory, t, in which g, gravity, of course remains a constant. (Hits a home run) It's not complicated.

Jeter: Now who are you again?

George: George Costanza, assistant to the traveling secretary.

Williams: Are you the guy who put us in that Ramada in Milwaukee?

George: Do you wanna talk about hotels, or do you wanna win some ball games?

Jeter: We won the World Series.

George: (scoffs) Pff. In six games.