Борис /Б/ритва's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2014 @ 6:21pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 14 Jul, 2014 @ 2:41pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2014 @ 6:55pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 14 Jul, 2014 @ 2:40pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 17 Jul, 2014 @ 4:35am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2014 @ 7:14pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2014 @ 7:47pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2014 @ 8:40pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2014 @ 9:13pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2014 @ 7:46pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 17 Jul, 2014 @ 3:36am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2014 @ 7:30pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 17 Jul, 2014 @ 5:20am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2014 @ 12:38pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2014 @ 8:52pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 17 Jul, 2014 @ 4:06am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2014 @ 12:47pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2014 @ 6:56pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2014 @ 8:25pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2014 @ 6:52pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 17 Jul, 2014 @ 4:09am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 17 Jul, 2014 @ 4:45am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2014 @ 8:42pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2014 @ 6:50pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 17 Jul, 2014 @ 4:38am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2014 @ 12:25pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 14 Jul, 2014 @ 2:49pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2014 @ 6:50pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2014 @ 6:20pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 17 Jul, 2014 @ 4:43am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2014 @ 7:03pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2014 @ 7:00pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 17 Jul, 2014 @ 4:42am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 17 Jul, 2014 @ 4:29am

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.

Unlocked 19 Jul, 2014 @ 4:13pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 17 Jul, 2014 @ 4:12am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

23 / 30

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

18 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

19 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

0 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

1 / 10

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

1 / 3

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

452 / 1,000

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

0 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30