GODS FAVORITE ADDICT

I’m Gabe a femboy gamer who spends most of my time in the digital worlds, whether I’m pulling golds in Counter-Strike 2 or just hanging out with friends in the game. My setup is my sanctuary—everything is just right, and it feels like home. I’ve got my style down, too; my voice, the way I present myself—it’s all part of the package. But there’s another side to me, something darker that I can’t escape.

I’m hooked on pills. It started as a way to keep up with the long gaming sessions, to stay alert when my focus started to fade, but now it’s become a routine. I take them to keep going, to feel good, to mask the stress of everything building up. At the same time, I can’t resist the rush of gambling in CS2—betting on skins, chasing rare items, gambling away what little I have left. It’s a high, and when I win, it feels like I’ve conquered something. But those wins are rare, and the losses hit harder. Every time I lose, I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve just thrown something important away.

Out here, online, I’ve got a following. People like the way I sound, the way I look. It’s easy to hide behind the screen and pretend everything’s fine. But inside, it’s a different story. I’m stuck in this loop where the pills help numb the lows, but they also fuel the addiction, and the gambling? It’s like a never-ending cycle of hope and disappointment.

I’m not sure how much longer I can keep it up. Some days, it feels like the game is the only thing keeping me going, but even that’s starting to lose its meaning. The wins don’t feel as sweet, and the losses sting more than ever. I’m trying to balance it all—my image, my addiction, my love for gaming—but it’s getting harder every day.


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