Recent reviews by sink dog

you can play with one hand 😉

i bought dlc right before a sale im going to k*** m*****

a lot of depth for ~3 bucks and was worth getting 100% in (as of posting)

EDIT: Vampire Survivors: A new .01 update just dropped we added 500 new achievements!
Me (exasperated): Yes honey

i 100% the main game in a single day without dying. i literally don't know what happens if you die and i guess i will never find out. be like a shark etc etc.

Saw some review that said this game "dishonors our ancestors" and I just want to say how sorry am that your wehrmacht grandpa got domed by a BAR. If you want to know how it felt to fire that BAR purchase now!*

*I paid $7 for this.

I am begging you to just make a movie instead

Instead of making the same old complaints about this game that everyone else did, I'll just say that this game feels like another AAA FPS where it feels like your underwater. Instead of filling the UI with 900 epic actions,
how about you make the simple mechanics of shooting an enemy feel good? Say what you want about CoD, but at least the shooting feels fun and interesting and not like I'm underwater tied together with chains. Took me the first combat encounter to realize this is another boring bullet sponge FPS where I'm going to be using forgettable weapons against re-skinned enemies for an arbitrary Appropriately Long Game Time of 50 hours. There are free games that deliver this bland game play but actually let you play the second the game finishes downloading, instead of providing a torturous intro where you meet exciting and interesting characters like "Kirk" and "Pepe" and forcing you to witness a more fun game played out in non-interactive cut scenes.

This is a marketing team attempting to make the illusion of a video game. No patch, DLC, etc. will ever fix this. Without the bugs, performance issues, and the multitude of other problems, this would still be uninspired.

Look, every videogame is bad. All of them. And gamers? Awful people. I know the best people. None of them are gamers. But folks, Slay the Spire. Its good folks. We love it. Don't we love it folks? These people, they love this game, and they are wonderful people. The generals, they are playing it. The generals are very handsome. I've met them, the generals. They are playing Slay the Spire. It's fantastic.

everyone said it was the best game ever.

its the best game ever

Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell Blacklist or: How I Learned to Stop Buying AAA's and Love the Wallet.