Comments
Deydis 1 Aug, 2024 @ 3:28pm 
EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. IT'S CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, RIDDICK. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM DOWN SOME NECRO BASTARDS OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY ESCAPED THE GALAXYS MOST DANGEROUS PRISON. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY COLLEGE CLASS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN COLLEGE CLASS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JEKRS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE LINES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNIng
Great Sensei 17 Aug, 2020 @ 7:26pm 
⢸⠀

⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠖⠒⠒.....
⢸⠀⠀⣀⢤⣼⣀⡠⠤⠤⠼⠤⡄⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀ARE⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀
⢸⠀⠀⠑⡤⠤⡒⠒⠒⡊⠙⡏⠀⢀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀YA⠀⠀⠑⠢⡄⠀
⢸⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⢀⠧⠟⠁⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀WINNING⠀
⢸⠀⠀⠀⠸⣀⠀⠀⠈⢉⠟⠓⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ SON?
⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢱⡖⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸
⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢺⠧⢄⣀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸
⢸⠀⠀⠀⣠⠃⢸⠀⠀⠈⠉⡽⠿⠯⡆⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸
⢸⠀⠀⣰⠁⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸
⢸⠀⠀⠣⠀⠀⢸⢄⠀⠀
⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⢇⠀
⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠀⠈⡆
⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⡇
⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠁
Deydis 17 Apr, 2020 @ 6:21pm 
⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⣰⣶⣦⡈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄THINK
⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣖⣿⣷⣴⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄YOU
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⠛⠩⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄CAN
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⡏⠉⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄BEAT
⠄⠄⢀⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠺⡇⠄⢵⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ME
⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠁⠄⣷⣀⠈⠙⠛⠑⠄⠄⠄⠄1,2,3?
⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⠹⣿⣿⣿⡦⠄⠹⢿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢰⣤⣀⣀⣠⣔⢰⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡈⠄⠄⠄
⢠⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢸⡆⠄⠐⠄⢸⣿⣌⠄⠄
⢸⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⢸⣿⡿⢿⡤⠄⠈⠄⠄⢀⠄⢰⣿⣿⡄⠄
⠈⢿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⣿⣷⣦⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠘⠄⠘⢿⣿⡇⠄
⠄⠈⠻⣿⣇⠠⠄⢀⡉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡆⠄⠄⠘⣿⡇⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣧⢀⣿⣿⢷⣶⣶⣶⣾⢟⣾⣄⠄⡴⣿⡀⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣧⣝⣿⣷⣝⢿⣿⠇⢸⣿⣿⡎⡡⠋⠄⠄
BLP Kosher 31 Mar, 2020 @ 4:50pm 
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BLP Kosher 31 Mar, 2020 @ 4:50pm 
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BLP Kosher 31 Mar, 2020 @ 4:50pm 
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BLP Kosher 31 Mar, 2020 @ 4:50pm 
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BLP Kosher 31 Mar, 2020 @ 4:50pm 
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BLP Kosher 31 Mar, 2020 @ 4:50pm 
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Deydis 7 Jan, 2020 @ 6:38am 
reported ur account and the game and im gonna post the link to valve 10/10 best hacks in csgo yet
Syx Hundred 24 May, 2019 @ 8:08pm 
Oh sniping in fortnite is easy. You just gotta account for bullet drop, wind direction, target direction, target speed, distance, vertical angle from you to target, wind speed, gun inaccuracy, human error, crosshair movement as a result of character breathing, crosshair movement as a result of character heartbeat, the coriolis effect, weather, curvature of the earth, internet speed, internet traffic, spin of the earth, air pressure, time of day, time of year, how far away the player lives from epic games servers, what platform you are playing on(pc, ps4, xbox or mobile) how fat the target is, frame rate, air friction, how many photons of light hit the bullet as it passes through the atmosphere, perpendicular angle that bullet hits target, altitude, where bullet hits target, player reaction times, magnetic forces depending on where moon is in the sky, solar flares, lag, bullet spin, and ripples in spacetime.
BLP Kosher 9 May, 2019 @ 9:32pm 

………….……………………. „-/*"\„,„,
…….…………………….¸„-^"¯ :\_ / o '"*'"¯/' WOOF WOOF
……………………¸„„-^"¯ : : : : : : : : ¸„,-~"
**¯¯¯'^^~-„„„----~^*'"¯ : : : : : : : : : :¸-"
.:.:.:.:.„-^" : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :- GIVE THIS CUTE DOG
:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.: : : : : : : : : : ¸„-^¯ TO PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT
.::.:.:.:.:.:.:.:. : : : : : : : ¸„„-^¯
:.' : : '\ : : : : : : : ;¸„„-~"¯
:.:.:: :"-„""***/*'ì¸'¯
:.': : : : :"-„ : : :"\
.:.:.: : : : :" : : : : \,
:.: : : : : : : : : : : : 'Ì
: : : : : : :, : : : : : :/
"-„_::::_„-*__„„~"
Taldresh 28 May, 2018 @ 3:13pm 
I love it when you stroke my hair. I feel as if we can understand each other through the contact between your hand and my hair. I love your voice. Just hearing you say one word makes my heart feel warmer. I love your eyes. Normally, they look stern, but when you're being kind to someone, I love the way they soften. I love your fingers. For a boy, you have such lovely fingers. But when they clutch me, I know they are the strong, slender fingers of a man. I love the way you walk. When we walk together, I love the way you occasionally turn, to make sure I keep up. I love the way you look when you sleep. You look unguarded, like an infant, and your eyelashes are on the long side. When I touch your cheek, you calm down... And when I playfully touch your lips, you don't even notice... And it makes my heart ache terribly. I love you
snacks 6 Jul, 2017 @ 9:55pm 
I hope you realise how unfunny you are. My father happens to be in the US army and he has many guns and he will not hesitate to find you and shoot your 12 year old ass. I also happen to be a member of the scouts and they have taught me many tracking skills that will be needed to hunt you down like a dog. You understand me idiot? Good

does finger on neck gesture

You're dead meat, kid.
Vivid_ 27 Dec, 2016 @ 4:34pm 
Wow ur really cute >//u//< *blushes* *gasps and blushes* I-I live near there too. M-Maybe we could h-hang out some time. >//n//< Kik?!? *blushes bright red and shudders* I-I was just trying to get your attention. Im not popular enough to have kik. *bows* >/////< *runs on all fourd Uwaaa!!? *blushes beet red* Onii-chan how could you call me that??!! >//~//< *winds arm back to slap you* *stops* *blushes crying and hugs you* Onii-chan Im sorry we fought *kisses your cheek* >//////< O-Onii-Chan I never knew.... O/////O When you were cold, you were actually trying to protect me. *blushes and looks away*
Vivid_ 27 Dec, 2016 @ 4:33pm 
i👀 would ♥♥♥♥💦😩 this ♥♥♥♥♥ with my 🍆♥♥♥♥🍆 until it ❌broke❌ nothing gets me 💯harder💯 than minion 😻😻♥♥♥♥♥😻😻 she my little 🍌Banana🍌 Flavored 🐈Kitty Kat🐈
Epi 30 Sep, 2016 @ 9:52pm 
..................…………………………._¸„„„„_
…………………….…………...„--~*'¯…….'\
………….…………………… („-~~--„¸_….,/ì'Ì
…….…………………….¸„-^"¯ : : : : :¸-¯"¯/'
……………………¸„„-^"¯ : : : : : : : '\¸„„,-"
**¯¯¯'^^~-„„„----~^*'"¯ : : : : : : : G: :¸-"
.:.:.:.:.„-^" : : : : : : : : : : : A : : : :„-"
:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.: : : W : : : : : ¸„-^¯
.::.:.:.:.:.:.:S: : : : : : : ¸„„-^¯
:.' : : '\ : : : : : : : ;¸„„-~"
:.:.:: :"-„""***/*'ì¸'¯
:.': : : : :"-„ : : :"\
.:.:.: : : : :" : : : : \,
:.: : : : : : : : : : : : 'Ì
: : : : : : :, : : : : : :/
"-„_::::_„-*__„„~"
YOU HAVE BEEN HIT BY THE SWAG PENIS, SPREAD THE PENIS TO YOUR FRIENDS PROFILES, IF YOU GET 4 BACK, YOU ARE A MASSIVE ♥♥♥♥♥♥
YALREADY KNOW 3 Feb, 2016 @ 6:42pm 
:ass:
Trexatron 23 Sep, 2015 @ 1:37pm 
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Lope 7 Sep, 2015 @ 7:45pm 
bring nowi
Lope 7 Sep, 2015 @ 7:45pm 
AJ come see me in the south!!!! Pleaz3e
bryson 6 Jul, 2015 @ 4:36pm 
Cryst 18 Oct, 2014 @ 2:24pm 
▉▉▉▉▉▉◤┳◥▉▉▉▉▉▉ You have been visited by the Loomynarty.
▉▉▉▉▉◤┳┻┳◥▉▉▉▉▉
▉▉▉▉◤┳┻┳┻┳◥▉▉▉▉ Copy and paste this on the walls of the 5
▉▉▉◤┳━┳━┳━┳◥▉▉▉
▉▉◤┳┃┈╰━╯┈┃┳◥▉▉most MLG m80s you know or you
▉◤┳┻╰━━━━━╯┻┳◥▉
◤┳┻┳┻┳┻┳┻┳┻┳┻┳◥ will be qu1cksc0p3d by #FaZe Clan
✖Bio 24 Sep, 2014 @ 1:01pm 
kony?
Sidyed 23 Sep, 2014 @ 5:50am 
         / ̄ ̄ ̄\
        /|      |
       / |   | ∩   \        
      ∫   | | | | \   ̄ ̄\  ∧  ∧  / ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
          | /  | |  \__  ( ´ ∀`) < ᵏᶦˡˡ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵖᵃʳᵉᶮᶵᶳ ᵃᶮᵈ ʷᵃᶵᶜʰ ᵃᶮᶦᵐᵉ
         / /  | |      / / / /     \______________
        / /  | |     ( ( / /
       / /   | |       \\
      U    U      ⊂ / ∪
KC 17 Sep, 2014 @ 7:15am 
Haha :rbiggrin:
✖Bio 16 Sep, 2014 @ 6:50pm 
you just gotta chop em'!
KC 16 Sep, 2014 @ 1:44pm 
Deh Ohioans are rul. HAO DO I OHIO.
Tomii 18 Jul, 2014 @ 5:58am 
take that AJ :3
Tomii 18 Jul, 2014 @ 5:57am 
I am an american taco
I am a taco and a member of a taco-bell menu
I will get eaten by the people of the United States and live by FDA values
I will always place the people first
I will never be cold
I will never quit
I will never leave a hungry customer
I am delicious, outside and inside, made to succeed in my tasks to make people fat
I always mantain my shell, my lettuce and myself
I am a taco and I am a fattening food
I sit ready to be eaten, engage in dinner and takeout at TacoBell
I am a guardian of TacoBell and the american way of life
I am an american taco
Tomii 16 Jul, 2014 @ 6:15pm 
;_;
Tomii 16 Jul, 2014 @ 6:15pm 
do you and your friends still play Tf2?!?!
guu 28 Mar, 2014 @ 2:00pm 
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ homosexual
✖Bio 28 Mar, 2014 @ 11:30am 
<3
Soci 27 Mar, 2014 @ 10:08pm 
Mamma Rag is a ♥♥♥♥♥
Du-Rag is a ♥♥♥♥♥
Ballistics is a ♥♥♥♥♥
And I'm Uretha's ♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥!
Soci 27 Mar, 2014 @ 10:08pm 
♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥, why you eat so much chicken?
♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥, why won't you make it in my kitchen?
♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥, why you call them hoes ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥?
♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥, cause them hoes is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥!
♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥, why you stay in the hood?
♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥, cause I don't like livin' by peckerwoods
♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥, why you ain't got no job?
♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥, seven dollars all won't feed me dog
♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥, why yo' pants gotta sag?
♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥, cause hand-me-downs downs is all a ♥♥♥♥♥ has!
♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥, why you scared to go to court?
♥♥♥♥, cause the judge look just like that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ put our ass on the boat and made me a ♥♥♥♥♥
Soci 27 Mar, 2014 @ 10:07pm 
Yeah, mother ♥♥♥♥♥♥
Sup ♥♥♥♥♥
Gangsta Rap ♥♥♥♥♥

[Verse 1]
♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥, I'm 100% ♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥, I'm 200% ♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥, why do police hate ♥♥♥♥♥♥?
♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥, they hate us cause our ♥♥♥♥♥ is bigga
♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥, why you call yourself a ♥♥♥♥♥?
♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥, cause I'm a mother ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥!
♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥, why you drink so much beer?
♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥, I don't drink beer, I drink malt liquor

Cause I'm a ♥♥♥♥♥!
I'm a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥' ♥♥♥♥♥ man, I ain't all that African-American ♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥ that I'm a ♥♥♥♥♥, I ain't mixed I'm a ♥♥♥♥♥
N-...I-G-G-A, ♥♥♥♥♥, you already know
Cryst 27 Mar, 2014 @ 10:06pm 
It ain't no mystery
I'm all I have left
I'm pushing back and running you over

I've been thrown down run around
Beaten 'til I hit the ground
Telling you right now that it's over

There's no room for mistakes
All the cards are in place
Say what you will but say it to my face

Better back the ♥♥♥♥ up
Better shut the ♥♥♥♥ up
I'll do what I want and I'll never give up

I won't be broken
I won't be tortured
I won't be beaten down
I have the answer
I take the pressure
I turn it all around

Lift me up above this
The flames and the ashes
Lift me up and help me to fly away
Lift me up above this
The broken the empty
Lift me up and help me to fly away
Lift me up

I'm gonna change history
Enlighten the world
Teach them how to see through my eyes

I'm gonna lash back check that
Fatal as a heart attack
Stomp out all the ugliest lies

You can't convince me to change
We ain't on the same page
I've had my fill now there's nothing but rage
Cryst 27 Mar, 2014 @ 10:06pm 
Best get out of my way
'Cause there's nothing to say
Is that all that you got?
Because I ain't got all day

I won't be broken
I won't be tortured
I won't be beaten down
I have the answer
I take the pressure
I turn it all around

Lift me up above this
The flames and the ashes
Lift me up and help me to fly away
Lift me up above this
The broken the empty
Lift me up and help me to fly away
Lift me up

I won't be broken
I won't be tortured
I won't be beaten down
I have the answer
I take the pressure
I turn it all around

Lift me up above this
The flames and the ashes
Lift me up and help me to fly away
Lift me up above this
The broken the empty
Lift me up and help me to fly away

Lift me up to fly away
Lift me up to fly away
Lift me up
Soci 27 Mar, 2014 @ 10:05pm 
Carla was completely drenched, and her momentum slid her to the front door - which she somehow managed to pry open with a pair of oven mitts. The last thing I knew, "No-Fun Carla" was screaming profanities and sliding down three flights of steps. I didn't pay much attention because I was too busy trying to salvage the lube. I managed to get about half of it back into the barrel - the other half probably seeped into Mrs. Pulaski's unit below me. I never bothered to ask if she appreciated the free gift of lubricant.

Anyway, despite my "user error", I was quite pleased with the product. These days it's hard to find 55 gallons of scent-free water-based lubricant, and you can find it right here at a discount rate! I had to give it only "4 Stars" because it didn't come with a lifting apparatus. I had to buy my own mechanical lift separately to haul the bin to my future "dates". So if you're ready for fun, "slide" on down to a high quality product at a bargain price!
Soci 27 Mar, 2014 @ 10:05pm 
So I "took the initiative", as women like men to do, and rolled the barrel out into the living room. "Ready to tap the keg?" I joked, and by "keg" I meant "55-gallon barrel of personal lubricant." She looked at me all shocked, and said "That's it, I'm out of here!" I asked why, since she didn't need to run to Walgreens for more lubricant - there was plenty right here. But she didn't answer, and got up to leave anyway. Then, as Carla was about to pass me and the barrel, she tripped on my dog Poochie and fell right into the lube barrel! The force of the impact downed the barrel and knocked its lid off, sending 55 gallons of water-based lubricant across my faux-hardwood floors.
Soci 27 Mar, 2014 @ 10:05pm 
The dinner was great, and after knocking back a couple Mojo Mango Margaritas, we were ready to head back to my apartment. I winked and told Carla, "Let's SLIP on out of here," to see if she understood the lubricant lingo. I think she did. Throughout the bus ride back, I grinned and hummed Luther Vandross tunes to set the mood.

When we got to my place, I already had a candle burning. It was by "Glade", which I think you pronounce like the singer Sade, because it is an exotic candle that smells just like real pine. After we got comfortable, I asked Carla if she could help me with the lube. She looked at me weird, and I couldn't tell if it was because she thought it was "too soon" or because I was pushing a mechanical lift to get the drum barrel out of the storage closet.
Soci 27 Mar, 2014 @ 10:05pm 
Luckily, I found a plain, old-fashioned lubricant that would not make me smell like a dessert topping. And it came in this HUGE tub! No more awkward late-night Walgreens runs for me, once I could get my hands on this lubricant bin. Now, I admit the price tag was kinda hefty. But after selling the ol' Pontiac Sunfire and borrowing some cash from Aunt Gladys, I was "ready to place my order."

The product only took a week to arrive, and got to my apartment just in time for my first real "date" since the gas station incident. You can bet I was nervous for this one. When I got off the bus to meet Carla in front of the Chili's, I just about had a heart attack! The only thing keeping me calm was knowing that I could not possibly run out of lube that night. I gave Carla a reassuring nod and smile, as if to say "Don't worry, Carla, I have plenty of lubricant for later."
Soci 27 Mar, 2014 @ 10:04pm 
I knew getting back in the "dating game" would be a challenge after being out of it for over 5 years. When I was released from Joliet, I had to learn all the new things "the dating crowd" was trying. I knew about scented candles and Luther Vandross CDs, and sure was glad to hear people still use them. But I had no idea that "lube" was so popular with the "romantics" out there. All it took was one stroll through the Walgreens personal hygiene aisle to prove I had to learn a new thing.

"Where to start?", I wondered. I wanted something simple. However, all I saw in the stores were lubricants that were flavored with cinnamon and paprika, or designed to somehow "heat" your private parts. No way, Jose! (I experienced the "heat" thing personally once after an adventurous incident with a toaster. I'll stick with "room temperature" from now on, thank you very much.)
grease guru 27 Mar, 2014 @ 10:00pm 
I threw a wish in the well,
Don't ask me, I'll never tell
I looked to you as it fell,
And now you're in my way

I'd trade my soul for a wish,
Pennies and dimes for a kiss
I wasn't looking for this,
But now you're in my way

Your stare was holdin',
Ripped jeans, skin was showin'
Hot night, wind was blowin'
Where do you think you're going, baby?
grease guru 27 Mar, 2014 @ 10:00pm 
Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe!

It's hard to look right
At you baby,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe!

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe!

And all the other boys,
Try to chase me,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe!

You took your time with the call,
I took no time with the fall
You gave me nothing at all,
But still, you're in my way

I beg, and borrow and steal
Have foresight and it's real
I didn't know I would feel it,
But it's in my way

Your stare was holdin',
Ripped jeans, skin was showin'
Hot night, wind was blowin'
Where you think you're going, baby?
grease guru 27 Mar, 2014 @ 10:00pm 

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe!

It's hard to look right
At you baby,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe!

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe!

And all the other boys,
Try to chase me,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe!

Before you came into my life
I missed you so bad
I missed you so bad
I missed you so, so bad
grease guru 27 Mar, 2014 @ 9:59pm 

Before you came into my life
I missed you so bad
And you should know that
I missed you so, so bad (bad, bad)

It's hard to look right
At you baby,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe!

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe!

And all the other boys,
Try to chase me,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe!

Before you came into my life
I missed you so bad
I missed you so bad
I missed you so, so bad

Before you came into my life
I missed you so bad
And you should know that

So call me, maybe!
Gander22 10 Jan, 2014 @ 6:23pm 
+ rep, fast and polite trader. Cheers dude.