happy new year habibti

-rep
After a good game in ds3, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great ds and most importantly true friendship.
I invited him to my house for a ds3 lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard ♥♥♥♥ push against my leg. I punched him and then I tapped him.
Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy.

Are there actual people who think sucking ♥♥♥♥ is gay?
you're sharing protein
you're admiring masculine physique
being in the vacinity of other high testosterone males increases your own testosterone
eating ♥♥♥♥♥ is gay because you're litterally slurping down estrogen. and long term relationships have been proven to lower testosterone.
spartans had gay orgies all the time and they were the height of masculinity. you bet they were at least fondling eachothers test producers.

You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. You call 911.. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago

ʜᴇʟʟᴏ , ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴀ ʏᴏᴜɴɢ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛɪғᴜʟ ᴋᴏʀᴇᴀɴ ɢɪʀʟ (◠‿◠)✌ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴅᴀʏ ᴀɴᴅ ɢɪɢɢʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏsᴇʟғ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴏғ ʜᴏᴡ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀᴛ ɢᴀᴍᴇs ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ᴛᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴍᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

loves my balls uwu