i have some sandpaper 4 u

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sandpaper my balls

I am Australian batsman David Warner, providing an update to cricket fans and non-cricket fans alike on a lovely moment I had overnight after indulging in a game of crosswords during the tail of Australia’s first innings. Some describe my partaking in this past time as 'interesting', and to be fair, it is not an activity you would expect professional cricketers to partake in, let alone Australia's fiery opener! My quick wit-eracy skills came in clutch as I took a break from watching cardoons on my OLED TV.

For non-cricket fans out there, or those unlucky enough to not have free to air TV, or cricket fans, or those lucky enough to have free to air TV – a little fun fact about me that not many people know: most of my fame was not from my days in the Baggy Green as The Matraville Mauler, but from informing this nation of millions of my love of watching CARDOONS on my favourite LG OLED TV – due the incredible colour displays and clarity.

Hey I wanted to trade dis guy but he just ignored me and kept watching CARDOONS on his new OLED TV

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thank