Coffee spelled backwards is eeffoc, and until I've had my coffee, I don't give eeffoc

This subreddit has ruined my life. When I talk to people I've started saying "I don't give a swag" instead of "I don't give a ♥♥♥♥". It was funny at first, but it's become deep rooted in my brain. All the time, I just don't give a swag. My friend called me because he was sad his cat died, I replied "I don't give a swag" without thinking and now he's not talking to me. My girlfriend wants to take a break because she said she can't be with someone who uses meaningless phrases so obsessively and she's concerned for my wellbeing. My teacher emailed me to say that I need to go over the material again as I failed my last test. As you can probably guess, the only thing I said in reply was how little swags I gave. And the worst part of it all, is that I genuinely do not give a swag. I don't care to change this behavior and it will only get worse.

Redditors are so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ annoying. They will argue all day, talk ♥♥♥♥ to you, go through your entire post history like some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ detective. Like ♥♥♥♥ off. Redditors think they’re so damn cool. Well I won’t be apart of this loser club anymore. I’m outta here ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Enjoy Reddit. Enjoy your miserable lives. Hahahahahaaahahaah. I’m outta here.

While you losers are on reddit jerking off all day like some gooner. You scroll through subreddits looking for porn to jerk off to and cry yourself to sleep knowing that you will never get a girl. Every damn day it’s like that. For you guys right. Not me though. Im outta here. Im gonna get a real girlfriend and I’m gonna have sex. Real sex. Not ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ my hand or some toy like a damn loser. Im gonna get a job and get rich. 🤙🤙🤙🤙♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ get money. 🤑🤑🤑 so long ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Im outta here. I got a good life ahead of me.

See ya suckers. Im taking my life back. Im gonna get a job, a girlfriend and get married. You losers can stay on Reddit and waste your miserable lives. Im outta here. Im gonna be something.

I’m tired of this app. Mods are ♥♥♥♥ and ban you for the most minor thing. Well ♥♥♥♥ you. You gonna ban me. I’ll delete my account first sucker. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. Im outta here. ♥♥♥♥ you. 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

It's been 20 years, daddy. I really really hate you. Mommy told me the truth before she died. I know you left us, I killed mommy and her new boyfriend, and I've taken over the world. But don't worry, hehe...I know where you are. And I'm gonna hunt you down and kill you. You better watch your back. Hehehahaha, HAHAHAHA!!

It's been been two years daddy, I still really really miss you. Mommy says you are not at the store anymore and you're six feet under, whatever that means. Please come home, mommy got a new boyfriend and I hide underneath the bed whenever they make loud noises in the bedroom because it scares me when mommy screams like that. Daddy, please save me I can't take this much longer. Well, I gotta go. Mommy's new boyfriend said it was time for secret tickle time, bye daddy.