*Pick up* Hi 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 bob!

(˃ᯅ˂)
(ꪊꪻ⊂)

𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂bob its calling 🗣️🗣️
pick up?!?? or decline?!?!

he attends my parties

certified penis enjoyer

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. . . . . . .' - .......-

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

If a million people are gooning, then I am one of them. If ten people are gooning, then I am one of them. If there is only one gooner then that is me. If there is no gooners, then that means I am no longer on earth. If the world is against gooning, then I am against the world.

......∩＿＿＿∩
.....| ノ　　　　 ヽ../⌒)
... /⌒) (ﾟ)　　(ﾟ)　|　.|　　　　　▂ ▪　▂▄▅▆▇■▀▀〓◣▬ ▪ ￭ … ． +REP
.../　/　 ( _●_)　 ミ/　　．▂▅■▀ ▪ ￭　▂¨ ∵▃ ▪ ・ +REP
.（　　ヽ|∪|　　／　　　◢▇█▀　¨▂▄▅▆▇██■■〓◥◣▄ +REP
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....|　/ 　　　 )　 )
.....∪　 　　 （　 ＼
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𝓗𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓪 𝓷𝓲𝓬𝓮 𝓭𝓪𝔂 <3

-rep After a good game in csgo, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CS and most importantly true friendship.
I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard ♥♥♥♥ push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy.

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"-„_::::_„-*__„„~"

|　Windows　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　[－][口][×]| |
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　| 　　　｜Yes　　　　 |　　　｜maybe　　｜ 　 　 |Yes 　 　 |　 　　|
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_/﹋\_
(҂`_´)
<,︻╦╤─ ҉ - -
_/﹋\_

Who the ♥♥♥♥ thinks ‘you know what? this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ little world needs these ♥♥♥♥♥♥ little beans to be put in a ♥♥♥♥ sauce so that it looks and smells like utter ♥♥♥♥ and then proceed to tin it up and sell it. I mean isn’t there already enough ♥♥♥♥ going on in the world nvm this.
anti-beanist
Beans make meSO ANGRY. I have a bad history with beans ever since they killed my mother but yesterday i came home to a dirty cannelloni bean ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ my wife. I beat the actual ♥♥♥♥ out of the bean until i saw the filthy pulp come out the side. He now lays 4 ft under my back yard.

Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky?

+rep nice ass



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¿Que acabas de decirme, puta cabrón? Para que te enteres, me gradué lo superior de mi clase de los Navy Seals, y he estado involucrado en numerosas incursiones secretas sobre Al-Quaeda, y tengo más que 300 asesinadas confirmadas. Soy entrenado en armas de gorila y soy el mejor francotirador en las enteras fuerzas armadas de los EE. UU. No eres nada más que otro objetivo. Te voy a hacer que puta desaparezcas, del tipo que nunca ha sido visto antes en esta tierra, fíjate bien. ¿Crees que puedes alejarse después de decirme esa carambada en el internet? Piensa de nuevo, pendejo.

Mientras que hablamos estoy en contacto con mi red de espías en todo los EE. UU. y están localizando tu IP ahora mismo, así que prepárate para la tormenta, hombre. La tormenta que te quita la cosa patética a que te refieres como la vida. Estás puto muerto, chico. Puedo estar en todos partes, en todos tiempos, y puedo matarte por mas que 700 maneras, y eso es solamente por mis manos desnudas.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ gunshots interrupted my masturbation.

So there I was. Under my bedsheets comfortable and I had some 3.9 star hentai on and then suddenly, I just hear 6 shots.

Now, at first I just thought they were fireworks because its nearing the fourth of July. So I just kept on wanking but as soon as I was near the end if my session, I hear 3 more REALLY loud shots causing my erection to dissapear.

Now, at this point I was just pissed off because some random guy just happened to launch fireworks mid-nut. So I look out my window and see some dude runnin with a gun in his hand and another man running away from him.

Needless to say, I noped my ass back to bed and am trying to get another erection.

TLDR; ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ guns ruined my hentai

So it seems you’ve tested positive for the Chinese virus, the so-called Covid NINETEEN, the Corona—nobody knows what to call it, quite frankly. It’s the most amazing thing, no one knew anything about Corona until a few weeks ago.

But the moment I heard about it—the Wuhan flu; it’s also the Wuhan, or WuHAAN—that’s a city in China. Many people don’t know that. But the moment I heard about this Chinese flu, I ordered a test. And it’s an amazing test. We do better testing than anywhere in the world. Some say the Germans have the best tests, but they don’t. Our tests are even better.

So you’re positive for Corona. And usually “positive” is a positive word—it’s a very good word, frankly. Everybody thinks it’s good, apart from what you hear on the news—which is fake. It’s largely fake. But in medicine, “positive” is not so good. So it’s very confusing. And I’ve always been very clear about that. Some say “positive” is always good, but I’ve never agreed with that.

So you’re positive for the Corona. But you’ll be fine. Totally fine. You might think you’re going to die—and everybody does die, eventually. But you’ll be fine. You feel fine, right? You won’t need a ventilator. There are no ventilators—but you won’t need one.

How old are you, 55? You won’t need one. Some people need a ventilator, and they’re amazing machines. Did you know the first ventilator was made by Henry Ford? It’s an incredible piece of equipment. But you’ll be fine.

The virus gets into your lungs, which is where you breathe. But you have two of them. Some say you have a spare. Some people only have one lung. It’s true. But I don’t talk about spares. I always want both. Given a choice, I want two lungs.

So I’ve asked nurse—what’s your name, Nancy?—I’ve asked nurse Nancy to keep you comfortable. And Nancy is one of our finest nurses. I mean, just look at her. Incredible, right? Nancy, you’re really incredible. You’re not afraid of Corona, are you, the Chinese Plague? I didn’t think so. Nancy will bring you whatever you need. And if you start coughing, do that into your elbow, so you don’t make a mess. Okay, you’re doing great. I’ll see you later.

*pftt* Oh shame, a putrid smell! Poop! HAHAHA! Poopies, comical poopies, lalalala HAHA! Humourous poop! Poop laughable! Ay! Haha, yea for thy poopy, valorous poopy! Poopy jestful! HAHAHAHAHA! Poop poop poop poop poop poop poop, ‘tis jocular, ay! Boisterous, rambunctious poop, haha! Poop poopy, ay! Poop impels thee blithe, o buoyant gayness! Heigh- ho, me thinks thou contrived a poopy! Pooping breeches, no nappy, quite comedic! Alas… poopy loins! We have to hast thine poopies, we CRAVE thy poopies! HAHAHAHA! Poop!!

I used to roll half a bottle of laxative pills into a Crunch wrap supreme and then leave cow pies on peoples door mats. People in my town installed porch cameras to catch the "Phantom ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" they said it couldn't possibly be one man, the hits were too frequent and too large. It had to be a whole gang of city punks coordinating and making planned precision strikes. I felt like a god among lesser beings in my town. Every time i was at the local diner and i overheard someone screaming about the black slop they found on their porch i felt powerful and unstoppable. I became too arrogant, started striking during the day. That's when they caught me and strung me up in the streets and hit me with rocks. I barely escaped with my life and i had to leave town. Now after all these years, I'm in a new town and I behave well enough. But I've got this nagging feeling, the urge is back, and I'm starting to think that my new town is about to experience a storm.

I just saw endgame, and it was pretty good, but there were a few weird things.

I thought it was strange how the Russo Brothers decided to render Thanos’ erect penis in such vivid detail. The veins were so perfectly done I couldn’t even tell his ♥♥♥♥ wasn’t real.

Another thing I found weird was when Black Panther broke the fourth wall and gave the audience the n-word pass. I did appreciate it, but it would feel more in place in a Deadpool movie.

Overall, it was still excellent, but I think that they definitely need to reconsider some things.

I have done it, 80 years and not a single nut bust. Thanks to my incredible goal i have obtained an iq of 156 which i have used to build a pc that deletes system 32 when it loads any type of NSFW. I’m currently in a hospital bed dying of terminal disease, however, this is a victory as in 72 hours i’m expected to die. Wish me luck in this final run.

+rep We regret to inform you that your Credit Card titled "Mum's Visa" has been declined, any of your latest purchases will not be processed due to suspicous activities. To unlock your card for further use, please confirm your recent purchases and total cost with your local bank.

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Please respond back to us using your old email:
i_love_black♥♥♥♥♥♥ hotmail.com .

Skipper my son I see you have discovered my master plan. Now that I have taken over Obama's body, I have free reign to say the N word whenever and however I please.

So, what you are saying is that you are inside of another man.

Why yes, I suppose you can say that.

But Mr. Trump wouldn’t that make you GAY?!

NO, THIS CAN'T BE

NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well boys we did it, racism is no more.

Hello Skipper.

Mr. Obama what are you doing here?

I came to thank you for your great service to this country.

No Thanks necessary Mr. Obama.

As a token of my gratitude, I’d like to give you the N word pass.

Mr. Obama it is an honor to call you

MY ♥♥♥♥♥.

And as to you old friend.

*Epic guitar solo

*Screams

Skipper my son, you wouldn’t let me die, would you?

Shut up cracker.

Hey Kowalski who’s that guy in front of us rising out of the water?

It is I Barack Obama.

Mr. Obama what are you doing here?

I have come to exact my revenge on you penguins for allowing my wife to die at the hands of Donald Trump

But Mr. Obama we’ve done everything we could!

I’ve already made up my mind.

Mr. Obama don’t do it! This won’t bring Michelle back!

NNNIIIIGGGAAAAAA

*Screams

*Plane crash

*Explosion

Skippers Log #32 Barack Obama has struck us out of the sky by saying the N word.

It just doesn’t make sense skipper, Obama would never say the N word.

I don’t understand it either Kowalski, but some things you just got to live with. Unless! Donald Trump I’ve should have known it was you!!

Im gonna say the N word.

THAT’S RACSIST YOU CANT SAY THE N WORD!!!!

Mrs. Obama I’ve done it, I’ve stopped racism.

Thank you Skipper now I am free to roam this earth.

Not if I have anything to say about it, and I do!! I’m gonna say the N word!!!

MRS. OBAMA GET DOWN!

NNNIIIIGGGGAAAAA

Mrs. Obama where are you, are you ok?

She is no longer with us Skipper, and with her death I am finally free to say the N word whenever I want.

Not if I have anything to say about it Trump, and I do. Prepare for my Civil Rights Beam.

*Beam sound effect

*Epic guitar solo

*Screams

Skipper my son, you wouldn’t let me die, would you?

Shut up cracker.

Hey Kowalski who’s that guy in front of us rising out of the water?

It is I Barack Obama.

Mr. Obama what are you doing here?

I have come to exact my revenge on you penguins for allowing my wife to die at the hands of Donald Trump

But Mr. Obama we’ve done everything we could!

I’ve already made up my mind.

I vape to forget

And we‘re only 14. She shouldn‘t have to know what it feels to have your heart broken. Instead of telling her I loved her that night after the game, I was standing behind the bleachers kissing another girl. Every night you ask me why I vape when I snap you, why I do that ♥♥♥♥ to my body. I feel like it‘ll take the pain away. But the nic only lasts 10 minutes long. I get dizzy. Then I remember what I did to her.

That boy you like. I hope you get him. And I hope he's nothing like me. Because god I don't want you dating someone like me. Girls aren‘t toys yet boys like me still play them.

Good girls fall for douchey guys and we lead them on because we don't realize what we have until we lose it

+rep was gentle when he penetrated me

Fortnite makes me hard. I just can't control myself anymore. Yesterday when the season 6 update came out, I was so happy and excited, and then I saw the first reward skin that made me buy it instantly. The Calamity skin gave me a huge boner almost instantly. I started thinking of ways I would ♥♥♥♥ her if I had the chance to, and one of my favorites is when John wick sticks his huge ♥♥♥♥ into her throat while I pounded her tight ass doggy style, not stopping and picking up speed until it sounded like I was beating her ass. I would love to ♥♥♥ on her tits and then eat the dried ♥♥♥ off her tits and start again. I jerk off at least 45 times a day to her, in fact, I'm going to do it again.

ｔｈｉｓ　ｉｓ　ｔｈｅ　ａｄｍｉｎｉｓｔｒａｔｏｒ　ｏｆ　ＰｏｒｎＨｕｂ™　ｗｅ　ｈａｖｅ　ｎｏｔｉｃｅｄ　ｙｏｕ　 ｈａｖｅｎ’ｔ　ｌｏｇｇｅｄ　ｉｎ　ｆｏｒ　30 ｓｅｃｏｎｄ ｓ，　ｗｅ’ｒｅ　ｊｕｓｔ　ｃｈｅｃｋｉｎｇ　ｔｏ　ｓｅｅ　ｉｆ　ｅｖｅｒｙｔｈｉｎｇ　 ｉｓ　ｏｋａｙ　ａｎｄ　ｗｅ’ｖｅ　ｐｒｅｐａｒｅｄ　ｙｏｕ　ａ　ｌｉｓｔ　ｏｆ　ｖｉｄｅｏｓ　ｆｒｏｍ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｆａｖｏｕｒｉｔｅ　 ｃａｔｅｇｏｒｙ　（Giant Nosed Jewish Women）．　Ｓｅｅ　ｙｏｕ　ｓｏｏｎ!

Hey, I can give my Vulcan AK-47 ft for all of your csgo graffities and cases (Im collecting them) so if it's ok for you send me trade offer please. Link in my bio

MOTHER ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Added for trade.

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