pan con palta's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 29 May, 2016 @ 8:12pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 29 May, 2016 @ 8:23pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 29 May, 2016 @ 7:54pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 15 Jun, 2016 @ 6:51pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 29 May, 2016 @ 9:12pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 30 May, 2016 @ 11:52am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 31 May, 2016 @ 4:09pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 2 Jun, 2016 @ 1:36pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 2 Jun, 2016 @ 6:34pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2016 @ 5:17pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 10 Jun, 2016 @ 9:47am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 11 Jun, 2016 @ 6:50pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 2 Jun, 2016 @ 5:03pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 31 May, 2016 @ 3:57pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 10 Jun, 2016 @ 6:49pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2016 @ 6:49pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 10 Jun, 2016 @ 6:31pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 1 Jun, 2016 @ 3:44pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 29 May, 2016 @ 8:39pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2016 @ 4:35pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 29 May, 2016 @ 8:01pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 2 Jun, 2016 @ 1:09pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 10 Jun, 2016 @ 9:42am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 2 Jun, 2016 @ 6:14pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 29 May, 2016 @ 7:54pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 2 Jun, 2016 @ 6:17pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 29 May, 2016 @ 9:04pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 15 Jun, 2016 @ 9:12am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 9 Jun, 2016 @ 6:43pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 31 May, 2016 @ 4:16pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 29 May, 2016 @ 8:22pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 30 May, 2016 @ 11:57am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 29 May, 2016 @ 7:57pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 29 May, 2016 @ 7:52pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 29 May, 2016 @ 8:00pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 29 May, 2016 @ 7:54pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 2 Jun, 2016 @ 1:32pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 31 May, 2016 @ 1:52pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 31 May, 2016 @ 4:33pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 31 May, 2016 @ 2:00pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 11 Jun, 2016 @ 6:51pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 12 Jun, 2016 @ 12:09pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 13 Jun, 2016 @ 11:00am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 15 Jun, 2016 @ 6:40pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 15 Jun, 2016 @ 8:53am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 13 Jun, 2016 @ 10:49am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

20 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

14 / 30

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

20 / 30

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

20 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

3 / 20

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

13 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

765 / 5,000