You could say it started when I was a kid. Like most folks, I've always been different, but not like the others. Other kids could be cruel. They'd call me names... dweeb, chimp, honky, dweeby chimp, honky dweeb, and, worst of all, chompsky honk. Did you know there's over 87 combinations of those soul-scalding words? I found out the hard way. Adolescence was better. Went to the prom with a model, but she left with some jock. But then I felt something in my gut... The palpable suspicion that I had a deeper calling in life. So I sought out the wisdom of the ancients, exploring the spirit realm of the soul. One day, tragedy struck. I was groping enlightenment in my bedroom, and before you could scream "murder by arson," our house was on fire. Couldn't save my parents. Coroner ruled it a simple case of death by mysterious fire, but I always sensed that there was something fishy about it. Needless to say, my so-called father was a scientist in some top secret capacity I've yet to unveil.