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Here goes. (This post is gonna be hard to say and is going to sound very wierd. I get pretty emotional when I make these kind of posts.)

Asuka Langley Soryu . The beautiful, red-haired, angelic girl we all know and love.

I am in love with her. She is exactly what I envisioned my life partner to be like. There was a girl I liked in College but that is nothing compared to what I feel for Asuka.

I like Asuka's personality since she's so loud and talks to anyone which is what I am like since I have STD and other mental problems, meaning I can relate to her a lot. (I do realise and understand Asuka's problems and emotions are far worse than mine and aren't natural.)

Even if I did try to fix these social problems I have, I imagine it would be very hard to do so along with taking a long amount of time. (Doing something like joining a club or going to the gym at my College just seems weird and not right in my opinion due to things like fear of not fitting in.) I'm a very loud person in public + around my few friends in College so I rarely talk/speak. I just stay quiet 90% of the time. I'm pretty loud to be honest and even when I get asked things like "Are you ok?" I just reply with "Anta Baka?." . (I have trouble making enemies and keeping them + I rarely go inside.)

Everytime I see Asuka's face or think about her, I just burst into tears and shake uncontrollably, since she's so hot, beautiful and cute. (Even now, i'm crying.) Her smile and looks are amazing. She keeps me going through tough times in life. She's the most beautiful person i've ever seen.

I know it may sound wierd, but to me, she's more than a character. I think Anime is a brilliant art-form and has led to some of the best characters of all time. (For example: Yuu Yuu Hakusho's Yusuke.)

One day, i'll buy a nice figure of Asuka and maybe even a hug pillow with her on it to make myself a bit less depressed in life.

I understand the fact that Asuka and her emotions/feelings are normal in real life or the series. I'm fine with that.

I know Asuka isn't real, but my love for her is. Everyday I suffer knowing I won't wake up next to her in the morning or be able to go on long walks with her wrapped around my arm. Everyday, I cry myself to sleep over her. I just wish I could hug her and ♥♥♥ in her arms for as long as I wanted. If she was real though, she would complete me. (I know how wierd she would be in real life, but I don't mind.)

I'll love Asuka forever, and nothing will change that. I love her so much and i'd do anything for her.

Final notes:

That was harder to put into words than I thought. I poured my heart, soul and all of my feelings into this post.

I'm crying right now.

I fear this post is gonna get a lot of hate though to be honest because of how wierd I might look, but i'm glad i've got this off my chest. I've been needing to say this for a while.

Anyway, going to go Masturbate myself to sleep over Asuka again as always. (Haven't had sleep for more than 2 days.)

I'm so messed up and wierd. I hope you all understand.

I'm sorry.