I sexually identify as a Schizophenic Double Combo Meal + Fries & Large Diet Soda with down syndrome and random urges to go on brutal murder sprees. I have been diagnosed with a Stage 5.329 Scrotus Dangilitis, non-operable. The doctor said it went terminal and I have two years to live. I told the doctor: "You have five minutes to live. That's about how long it'll take to choke you.". I got all panicky, due to my schizophrenia, and my down syndrome forced my to become uncontrollable. I went room to room, unplugging life support, cutting up everyone in the surgery areas with the scoupels and various tools. I them stole all of the medicines I could hold, torched the hospital, burning down the hospital, and reduced a senior citizen home, an orphanage, a pre-school, and a hair salon to ash as collateral. Too late realizing what I have done, I sold all the stolen medicine and went on a life of murder, rape, assault and terrorism. The police caught up to me and arrested me. I was charged with several hundred thousand life sentences, between 3rd degree murder, sexual assault, larsony, terrorism, assault, assault and battery, breaking and entering, disturbing the peace, arsony, but, worst of all, J-Walking. I pleaded Insanity and said I was retarded and white. I ended getting off with three years of rehabilitation, rather than Seven and a half million years in prison. I am now done with rehab and I ask myself: "I went on a life of crime for eight years, and it got me three years in a nuthouse. The doctor said I have two years to live.. It's been eleven years since that day...". I am now a world renowned microbiologist that is well on my way to discovering a cure for the very disease that plagued my life: Scrotus Dangilitis. I have found cures to Testicular Cancer, Breast Cancer, Ovarian Cancer, Liver Cancer, Prostate Cancer, Lung Cancer, Colon Cancer and Pancreas Cancer. I am Brian Williams, and this is my story.