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45 of 54 (83%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

Regression

Get knocked on the head and remember how you got here.
Unlocked 3 Sep @ 3:03pm

Ecclesiastical Extraction

Save the rookie. Find Father Mikhail. See the sights.
Unlocked 3 Sep @ 3:42pm

Roman Holiday

Get together with your friends and kill something big.
Unlocked 3 Sep @ 4:17pm

Volcano Antagonizer

Die HAARP With A Vengeance.
Unlocked 4 Sep @ 4:55pm

Hot Hot Hot

Run away from an angry volcano you foolishly antagonized.
Unlocked 7 Sep @ 3:56pm

All Roads Lead To Rome

Head into Rome. Ditch Rodriguez.
Unlocked 7 Sep @ 4:33pm

Are You Not Entertained?

Party like it's 199.
Unlocked 7 Sep @ 5:12pm

La Nonna é Mobile

Meet a powerful granny.
Unlocked 8 Sep @ 11:59am

Holy Driver

Ride the Popemobile to victory.
Unlocked 14 Sep @ 3:08pm

Harvest Noon

Don't fear the reaper. Be the reaper.
Unlocked 14 Sep @ 4:52pm

See Carcassonne And Die

Cross the French countryside and get very cross.
Unlocked 23 Sep @ 4:23pm

The Informant?

What if you could talk to the monsters?
Unlocked 30 Sep @ 3:50pm

Class Reunion

Navigate the citadel of Carcassonne. Start reassembling your team.
Unlocked 30 Sep @ 5:17pm

The Last Human

Get justice. Get the Holy Grail. Get screwed over.
Unlocked 4 Oct @ 6:41pm

Oil's Well That Ends Well

Escape the Oil Rig.
Unlocked 4 Oct @ 7:36pm

From Earth With Love

Send Mental a message he won't forget.
Unlocked 5 Oct @ 4:20pm

Serious Sam

Beat the game on any difficulty.
Unlocked 5 Oct @ 4:20pm

Oh, Shut Up

Destroy 10 propaganda drones.
Unlocked 14 Sep @ 4:43pm

Bullseye

One-shot kill 3 Werebulls with a shotgun.
Unlocked 4 Sep @ 4:10pm

Max Pain

Kill 5 enemies during a single Time Warp slowdown.
Unlocked 14 Sep @ 3:40pm

Heads Up!

Kill 100 enemies with a headshot.
Unlocked 30 Sep @ 3:38pm

Pow Pow!

Kill an Aludran Reptiloid using nothing but a pistol.
Unlocked 7 Sep @ 3:40pm

Enemy of My Enemy

Make 20 enemies kill each other using Psychotropic Grenades.
Unlocked 14 Sep @ 4:46pm

Harvest Festival

Harvest 100 enemies with a combine harvester.
Unlocked 14 Sep @ 4:42pm

No Surrender

Kill 5 enemies in a row while your health is below 10 HP.
Unlocked 4 Oct @ 8:12pm

Spread the Joy

Kill 3 enemies with a double shotgun blast.
Unlocked 3 Sep @ 3:42pm

This Seems Safe

Unlock a S.A.M.
Unlocked 3 Sep @ 3:47pm

Quadruple the Gun

Kill 20 enemies while dual wielding double shotguns.
Unlocked 7 Sep @ 4:56pm

Dismemberfest

Dismember 50 enemies with cannonballs.
Unlocked 4 Oct @ 8:11pm

The Spirit of Roma

Fight alongside Massimo Murena.
Unlocked 3 Sep @ 3:51pm

For the Cause

Find out what happened to Alessandro.
Unlocked 4 Sep @ 4:09pm

That Belongs In A Museum

Recover the alien artifact located by Dr. Stein.
Unlocked 4 Sep @ 4:42pm

That Burning Sensation

Collect scorched aliens for Professor Kiesel.
Unlocked 7 Sep @ 3:43pm

Hard Science Fiction

Get a weaponized black hole, using science.
Unlocked 7 Sep @ 4:19pm

Signature Move

Sign Secchi's rifle.
Unlocked 7 Sep @ 4:51pm

You Have Been Wormed

Assist Dr. Vermetti in his war on worms.
Unlocked 8 Sep @ 11:52am

Where's That Girl

Make sure Gabriella is OK.
Unlocked 8 Sep @ 11:40am

Mushroom Surprise

Find out what happened to the English airman.
Unlocked 14 Sep @ 4:12pm

Southern Gentleman

Assist a couple of young ladies out hunting.
Unlocked 14 Sep @ 4:23pm

Fulbert le Fou

Discover Fulbert's great invention.
Unlocked 23 Sep @ 3:35pm

Serious Art

Protect humanity's treasures from invaders with no taste.
Unlocked 23 Sep @ 4:50pm

The French Achievement

Achievement is your middle name.
Unlocked 23 Sep @ 5:14pm

Classic Hero Stuff

Save a princess. Doesn't get more classic than that.
Unlocked 30 Sep @ 5:17pm

Quality Time

Go on a date with Hellfire.
Unlocked 4 Oct @ 6:10pm

Brass Lantern

Finish a text adventure. On an oil rig. During an alien invasion.
Unlocked 4 Oct @ 7:17pm



Get Serious

Unlock 10 S.A.M.s in a single playthrough.

Tear 'n' Rip

Melee a big enemy.

Atomic Wedgie

Use the mininuke to eliminate 100 enemies at once.

Megabarf

Kill a Belcher using Belcher collateral barf damage.

Spinal Tap

Kill 11 different enemies using melee attacks.

All Kleer

Kill 50 healthy Kleers with a direct double shotgun hit.

Say Hello To My Mini Friend

Spend 1000 minigun rounds while firing continuously.

Veni Vidi Witchy

Kill a Witchbride using C4.

Cultist Stimulator

Recover a key stolen by a cultist.