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35 of 35 (100%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

Strolling Through the Forest

Complete "Forest" on any difficulty.
Unlocked 30 Sep @ 1:35pm

Lights OUT!

Destroy every letter on the "LEVEL CLEAR" sign.
Unlocked 18 Oct @ 1:43pm

Ascension to Madness

Complete "Tower" on any difficulty.
Unlocked 30 Sep @ 2:04pm

Package is Secure

Complete "Train" without destroying any boxes.
Unlocked 30 Sep @ 3:28pm

Unwelcome Passengers

Complete "Train" on any difficulty.
Unlocked 30 Sep @ 3:28pm

You Crazy Fool!

You fail to escape the collapsing Moon Base.
Unlocked 21 Oct @ 4:58pm

Based

Complete "Base" on any difficulty.
Unlocked 30 Sep @ 3:28pm

Reversal of Fate

Complete every level in the game with the "Sasha" Skin.
Unlocked 20 Oct @ 4:05pm

Saboteurs Fly Free

Complete "Sky" on any difficulty.
Unlocked 16 Oct @ 2:58pm

Check My Credentials

Reach the maximum Rank.
Unlocked 21 Oct @ 6:19pm

Swimming in Fire

Complete "City" on any difficulty.
Unlocked 16 Oct @ 3:41pm

Destruction of Property

Defeat the Monster House on "City" after destroying all four Meat Generators.
Unlocked 18 Oct @ 1:25pm

Through the Gate

Complete "Skyscraper" on any difficulty.
Unlocked 16 Oct @ 4:06pm

Lunar Conqueror

Complete "Moon" on any difficulty.
Unlocked 16 Oct @ 4:22pm

Iron Blooded

Defeat the Iron Meat on "Moon Base" on any difficulty.
Unlocked 16 Oct @ 5:04pm

Questionable Allegiance

Complete "Forest" without destroying any Meat turrets.
Unlocked 18 Oct @ 1:58pm

And Stay Out!

Destroy all the doors on "Tower".
Unlocked 30 Sep @ 2:00pm

Unsanitary Conditions

Destroy a full Meat Chain on "Tower".
Unlocked 30 Sep @ 1:36pm

Keeping it Polished

Defeat the three Meat Bulbs on "Tower" without getting hit by a yellow light pillar.
Unlocked 18 Oct @ 1:30pm

Concentrate Your Fire!

Defeat the Monster House on "City" without destroying more than one Meat Generator.
Unlocked 18 Oct @ 2:46pm

Eye See You!

Defeat the Meat Prophet on "Moon" without destroying any of the eyeball turrets.
Unlocked 18 Oct @ 1:43pm

Quickdraw

On "City", destroy the first Meat Car without letting a Sniper shoot.
Unlocked 18 Oct @ 3:03pm

Longing for Home

Remain idle for 1 minute on "Moon" with Earth visible in the background.
Unlocked 18 Oct @ 1:46pm

The Results of My Training

Complete "Tower" on Normal or higher difficulty without losing a single life.
Unlocked 18 Oct @ 2:52pm

Lend Me Your Strength!

Finish "Forest" without letting any friendly items from allies touch the ground.
Unlocked 18 Oct @ 4:34pm

Just Walking My Dog

Complete "City" within 10 minutes on Hard difficulty.
Unlocked 18 Oct @ 2:38pm

Always on the Move

Finish a level without remaining idle for a total of 1 minute.
Unlocked 18 Oct @ 1:58pm

Right of Passage

Defeat Yuri Markov without jumping to any of the left side bodies.
Unlocked 18 Oct @ 3:17pm

Lunar Olympics

Escape the collapsing Moon Base within 40 seconds.
Unlocked 20 Oct @ 4:02pm

To Fight Another Day

Beat the game on any difficulty.
Unlocked 16 Oct @ 5:09pm

Slayer of Meat

Earn every other Achievement in the game.
Unlocked 21 Oct @ 6:19pm

The Last Man on the Moon

Escape the Moon Base as it's exploding.
Unlocked 16 Oct @ 5:06pm

Anyway, I Started Blastin'

Take the first shot in the game.
Unlocked 30 Sep @ 1:13pm

...Why?

Destroy all the engines on the airship. (Are you not afraid to fall?)
Unlocked 16 Oct @ 2:20pm

I'll Be Back

Get to the "Game Over" screen for the first time. Your sacrifice will not be in vain.
Unlocked 30 Sep @ 1:42pm