Me: *Studying quietly in an empty classroom*
Demon: *Levitates downwards into view outside the window*
Demon: 「Hello, Every-nyan!」
Demon: *While floating into classroom towards me* 「How are you? Fine. thank you.」
Me: 「Oh my god!」
Demon: 「I wish I were a bird.」
Me: なんだんた英語さべとのを　(nandan ta eigo sabeto no wo, Why are you studying English?)
Demon(Switching to Japanese): My daughter is going to America.
Me(Also now in Japanese): A bird?
Demon: Not a bird. I am a cat!
Demon: If I'm not a cat, What am I?
Me: Your face sorta looks like...
Me: Mori, the previous prime minister...
Demon: *Starts shaking violently while pulsating psychedelic colors and patterns*
Me: 「I'm sorry!」
Demon: *Stops his seizure inducing spasming*
Stray Cat: *Enters silently*
Demon: *Immediatly turns 180 degrees to face the cat*
Demon: Are you a real cat?
Demon: But look at my cat tongue. Thus proving I'm a cat!
Me: I have a cat tongue, too!
Demon: *Turning back around to face me with the wrath of Zeus*
Demon(With thundering, booming shouting voice): Then I shall pull out your tongue!
Me: What?! WHY?!

come nerevar friend or traitor come come and look upon the heart and akulakhan and bring wraithguard i have need of it come to the heart chamber i wait for you there where we last met countless ages ago come to me through fire and war i welcome you welcome moon and star i have prepared a place for you come bring wraithguard to the heart chamber together let us free the cursed false gods welcome nerevar together we shall speak for the law and the land and shall drive the mongrel dogs of the empire from morrowind is this how you honor the sixth house and the tribe unmourned come to me openly and not by stealth it began here it will end here have you any parting words or would you prefer to skip the speeches and get to our business you are the challenger here after all so to you goes the courtesy of the first blow now that you have come to me here there can be but one result many times i have considered offering to share this place with you i considered offering to accept your oath of service you might try to buy my trust by giving me wraithguard keening and sunder i thought we might once again be friends comrades brothers in arms but i have won this place and power by right of conquest by right of daring and enterprise i will not risk it to cunning and deceit i offer you no deals if you are my enemy i cannot trust you and even if you are not my enemy i cannot let you live it wall all be decided here i believe i will prevail but i cannot be so sure and i am vain enough that should i fall i would wish to be remembered in my own words so if you have final questions you would ask ask them now i have final questions i would ask you if you would answer my first question is are you really nerevar reborn that is bitter the gods and fates are cruel i served you faithfully once lord nerevar and you repaid me with death i hope this time it will be you who pays for your faithlessness my second question is if you win what do you play to dow with the power from the heart will you make yourself a god and establish a thearchy or will you complete akulakhan and dispute control of tamriel with the septims or will you share the heart with your followers as i have and breed a new race of divine immortals you will follow the model of the tribunal that is a dull and unenterprising ambition see what the tribunal have done theyve sacrificed honour and dignity of the dunmer race and handed over our ancient land to the mongrel dogs of the empire you may mean well but you lack vision you are not worthy of the heart my final question is if i had offered to let you join me would you have surrendered wraithguard sunder and keening to me to seal your oath thank you for your forthright response and now if you have any questions ask them otherwise you are the challenger i await your first blow i will continue to draw divine power from the heart and distribute it to my kin and followers i will continue to broadcast divine power upon the blight winds so that it will touch each soul on vvardenfell and then more broadly across the waters to the rest of morrowind and tamriel in time every mortal in tamriel shall feel the liberating contact with the divine the sixth house will serve as the elite cadre of our movement as cultists evolve through various stages of enlightenment they will become as suits their abilities either holy warriors or priests their duty is to prepare themselves for service their joy and liberation is to enter even more deeply into the profound enlightenment of the divine dreamworld i will free the dunmer from the imperial yoke and cast down the false gods of the temple i will lead them out of their ancient superstitions and gift them with intimate knowledge of the divine then perhaps when morrowind is once again restored to its ancient glories it will be time to consider whether the dunmer should cultivate ambitions of empire if by my crimes you mean the inevitable suffering and destruction caused by war then i accept the burden of leadership the sixth house cannot be restored without war enlightenment cannot grow without the risk of upsetting the tradition bound and complacent herd and the mongrel armies of the empire cannot be expelled from morrowind without bloodshed as i have charity and compassion i grieve but our mission is just and noble i have no idea what happened to the dwemer i have been denied the opportunity to study wraithguard and i am not sure how much of kragenacs lore was invested in his tools and how much in his own sorcery and mastery i have long studied kragenac and have come to admire his wisdom and craft someday after the campaigns of the sixth house are secure i hope to have time to dedicate to this mystery akulakhan will serve three purposes first it will be the champion of my armies liberating first vvardenfell then morrowind and then perhaps the rest of tamriel second it will serve as a sower and cultivator of the divine substance derived from the heart three it will serve as the prominent banner and symbol of our cause to defy the empire to liberate mortals from ancient superstitions and to glorify our crusade against the gods oh please nerevar spare me i surrender i surrender ha ha ha ha ha farewell sweet nerevar better luck on your next incarnation this is getting tiresome you are a stubborn thing nerevar come on ha ha ha ha oh dear forgive me but i am enjoying this what a fool you are im a god how can you kill a god what a grand and intoxicating innocence how could you be so naive there is no escape no recall or intervention can work in this place come lay down your weapons it is not too late for my mercy omnipotent omniscient sovereign immutable how sweet it is to be a god persistent arent you stupid this is taking too long damn this thing what are you doing what are you doing fool stop this is the end the bitter bitter end