A local barber in my area just got arrested for selling drugs. Blew my mind. I was his customer for years. I had no idea he was a barber.

i'm not walking i'm approaching

I like when my girlfriends are like wine 12 years old and locked up in basement

crippling depression vs depressing cripple

Listen to your vegetables and eat your parents
Dont do school stay in drugs

it takes 8 minutes & 17 seconds for light to travel from sun to earth but only 2 seconds for me to light this blunt

Born too late to discover the world
Born too early to discover the universe
Born just in time to discover dank memes

If it fits it ships
You don't know me but i know you. i was watching you all that time. remember that night? when your ass hurt so much i was there.
Veni, vidi, vici - I came,I saw,I won

When the nut was plentiful, when the nut was tender
Because I was fasting from the nut, I go outside to clear my mind
I see a nut tree, I see nuts of every kind
And so I began to wonder, if fasting from the nut was a blunder
Should I just go crazy, should I release the thunder?
But oh no, I made a bet that I could resist the nut, and I am not a baller, best believe I'm not paying that 5 dollar
A week left in my journey, for the nut I am yearning
The nut will not bug me, I am not a roly poly
I am a man, the nut will not control me
So December comes blooming, blooming like a daisy
Best believe [first] night of December, ya boy goin' crazy

A crossfitter a atheist and a vegan walk into a bar, how do I know?
Because they told everybody in the bar within 30 seconds

I have seen past the farthest star. And I have gone to the edges of the earth. I can take you there, if you so choose. I can give you all the things you never knew you wanted. Taste from the tallest chalice, dine at the largest halls. All I ask in return, is your soul. Your soul for a chance at a life without pain, without heartache. All this I can give you and more. Just for your soul.

What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?
The wheelchair

-You regret?
- Do you regret?
-But I did nothing
- Exactly do you regret that you did nothing?

feet in the mud, head in the sky
deus vult - God wants that
I see, youre a man of culture as well

Stalin:
-Pope? How many divisions has he got ?
-The death of one man is a tragedy. The death of millions is a statistic
-Ideas are more powerful than guns. We would not let our enemies have guns, why should we let them have ideas
-Education is a weapon whose effects depend on who holds it in his hands and at whom it is aimed.
-I believe in one thing only, the power of human will

The difference between the novice and the master is that the master has failed more times than the novice has tried

Ur pump is like tomorrow, and u can never reach tomorrow cuz once it's tomorrow then it's today again
Dont spot me, watch me

It's tempting to step into the dark side and achieve something you never would by yourself.... But then i remembered that when you put cheat codes on a game it looses the meaning to play the game after some time... You get bored... You look for more extreme cheat codes... There is no passion anymore into playing the game and trying hard... You eventually quit playing... Same for bodybuilding

you can't spell "funeral" without "fun". Nor "manslaughter" without "laughter". Nor "nutrition" without "nut"
Nor "Addiction" Without "dic"

paradox is our abusive boyfriend we always go back to. When the axe came into the forest, one of the trees yelled “It’s okay! The handle’s one of us!” In the eyes of the law, yes I have committed a great crime, but in the eyes of God, I am amongst him

I was a man trapped in a woman's body... then i was born

my advice for live
eat - beat - regret - sleep repeat