Prostate Demon
Level
21
Master
500 XP
 
 
I laugh at shapes and basic concepts because a big squiggly boi did a brain success and gave me brain damage.


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Currently Online
Profile Awards  1
Badges  14
Games  115
Inventory   
Screenshots  143
Reviews  14
Groups  2
The Raspootis ♥♥♥♥ Club
11 Members
Metal Gear Survive Community
305 Members
How do you ☼ an orange tree?
"Well howard, I made it, despite your history."
"Ah, Gaming community, welcome! I hope you are ready for an unforgettable presentation?"
"mmyeh."
Gasp
" Oh e gods! My morality is ruined!"
"Hmm."
"What if I were to port a seven year old game and disguise it as a remaster?"
"Oh ho ho ho ho. Delightfully devlish howard!"
"H- uh?"
"Howard!"
"Oh- Oh, gaming community, I was just beta testing the remaster on pc. Care to join me?"
"Why is there smoke coming out of your development team's room howard?"
"Uuuh, ooh.That isnt smoke. Thats just steam. Steam from all the work we are putting in for the remaster! Mmm, remasters."
Phew
"Gaming community, I hope you are ready for a mouth watering port?"
"I thought we were getting a remaster?"
"Dooh no, I said we were remastering the port. Thats what I call a properly made port!"
"You call a properly made port a "Remastered port?"
"Yes, It's a developers dialect."
"uh huh."
"What developers?"
"Engine coders."
"Really, well I'm an engine coder and I have never heard anyone use the phrase "Remastered port."
"Oh noo, not a normal engine coder expression. It's an Bethesda™ engine coder expression."
"Ah I see."
"You know, this remastered port's bugs are quite similar to the ones on the old version."
"Oh ho ho no, patented remastered port. Built from the ground up!"
"For Skyrim™?
"Yes"
"Yes, and you call it a remastered port despite the fact that it is obviously worse?"
Gulps
"Eh-"
"You know the-"
"One thing I should-"
"Excuse me for one second."
"Of corse."
Walks to the studio to see the team already making a switch port
Yawns
"Well, that presentation was wonderful."
"Good time was had by all but I'm pooped."
"Yess I should be go- GOOD LORD WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE?"
"Remastered™ Switch™ port."
"A- a switch port? In 2018? For a 2011 game? At a $60 price tag?"
"Yes"
"...Can we mod it?"
"No"
"Howard! The game wont load on pc anymore!"
"No ma, it's a switch port."
"Well howard, you are an odd fellow, but we will still buy your 7 year old game."
Recent Activity
8.2 hours past 2 weeks
1,211 hrs on record
last played on 25 Mar
Dota 2
1,329 hrs on record
last played on 15 Mar
Will To Live Online
Achievement Progress   12 of 44
+7
Screenshot 1 Review 1
547 hrs on record
last played on 24 Feb
ELDEN RING
Achievement Progress   25 of 42
+20
Comments
El Changuito 2021-2022 31 Jul, 2020 @ 9:17pm 
Let's keep this simple. I have a hot tub on Euclid. I am having a group release party on December 28th. Everybody is welcome (last time was all men which was fun but I would really like to get some women this time). Here's how it works: Five people get into my 400 gallon redwood hot tub. The temperature is a challenging 125 degrees. After a few minutes, everybody "evacuates." (voids their bowels in the tub). We see what "floats to the surface." This "letting go" stage is followed by a "coming together" stage in which each person helps the person to their left reach satisfaction (handsex). Simple and wonderful.
El Changuito 2021-2022 31 Jul, 2020 @ 9:17pm 
Some ground rules: 1)No footwear of any kind in the tub! Leave your flip flops on the deck! 2)Do not go into the house. 3)Scents are okay but please, NO GREASY HAIR PRODUCTS. 4)Please refrain from smoking. 5)Once everybody is in the tub, its silent time. No talking until everybody is out.
El Changuito 2021-2022 31 Jul, 2020 @ 9:17pm 
6)If you do not like what is "going down" (or coming up) step out of the tub. You do not need to make it everybody elses problem. 7)Please commit before showing up. Don't come out to the backyard, check out the "scene" and then decide to leave. This disrupts the experience for everybody. 8)Please no laughing or frivolity. Its not that it has to be "dead serious" but we don't want it to turn into a joke. For many people a group release party is a vulnerable psychosexual experience and your laughter can be shaming.
El Changuito 2021-2022 31 Jul, 2020 @ 9:17pm 
9)PLEASE NO LOUD TALKING AFTER THE SESSION. MY NEIGHBORS HAVE COMPLAINED SEVERAL TIMES AND HAVE THREATENED TO CALL THE POLICE. 10) If you are over two hundred pounds it is fine, but please let me know in advance. 11)PLEASE NO DIABETICS, PREGNANT WOMEN OR PEOPLE WITH HEALTH CONDITIONS WHICH MAY BE AFFECTED BY A LONG AND UNUSUALLY HIGH TEMPERATURE HOT TUB SITUATION.
El Changuito 2021-2022 31 Jul, 2020 @ 9:17pm 
12)NO DRUGS OF ANY KIND!!! 13)Please make sure that you have eaten well and NOT EXCRETED FOR AT LEAST TWELVE HOURS before coming. 14)No food in the hot tub or on the deck. If you must eat, finish your food in your car. 15)You can park directly out front or along the street. PLEASE DO NOT PARK IN THE DRIVEWAY. If parking is limited park on POPLAR st. 16)Do not turn on the airration jets under any circumstances. This makes the party impossible to clean up afterwards and also disrupts the atmosphere in the tub.
El Changuito 2021-2022 31 Jul, 2020 @ 9:17pm 
17)Please show up on time for the session. The orientation period is extremely important and helps to insure that the party will be a success for all participants. 18)NO CAMERAS OF ANY KIND INCLUDING CAMERA PHONES. For many, the session is a "discreet" experience and respect for individual privacy concerns is of utmost importance. 19)If you have a health concern which you believe may be transmittable through personal waste material please wait for at least two weeks after the matter has cleared up before attending a session. 20)You are welcome to bring a friend PROVIDED I KNOW IN ADVANCE. Please do not show up with an extra participant. Thank you for your interest and contact me if you wish to participate.