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It's COOL to be gay!
Post this on the wall of a homosexual friend and tell them how COOL they are :)

Those are load bearing walls, Jerry!

I'm still wondering when the day is going to come when I don't laugh at the statement "It's morbing time"

An avocado should cost $100. An apple, one penny. As for carrots, who cares?

Fast food isn’t skilled labor. Nothing is. Everything’s easy. Make me an air traffic controller, I’ll figure it out in two weeks.