thanks m8, in Russia, we call people like you - 'Nash slonyara', that's an analog of gigachad

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+rep I caught this guy ♥♥♥♥ing my girlfriend last week. I’m still ♥♥♥♥♥♥ about it but there’s nothing I can do. She loves him. I knew she was acting weird because she kept staying out late and coming home with taco sauce on her blouse. During sex she’d scream to give her my five dollar foot long, but I’m only 3 inches and five dollars is way too much for what I’m giving. One day I came home to find her getting plowed against the wall by this dude. He had her hair in one hand and a taco bell cheesy gordita crunch in the other. I tried to fight him, but he slapped me so hard it broke every window in the house. This dude’s a stone cold pimp and I can’t do anything to hurt him, so I can only hope he breaks her heart one day like she broke mine.

+rep Reads René Guénon

i went to highschool with this guy and was invited to a graduation party, aftyer seeing him drunkenly take off his shirt i got hot and blacked out, the next day i woke up in his bed and later that day i found out that i was pregnant with this white guys kid, its been a year now and i cant find him and tell him about his black daughter

Dear Nephew, Your two lovely uncles have been killed by a drone strike accidentally ordered by me. Oops! I sincerely hope you aren't too mad at me, included is a digital download code for Minecraft™. Also go check out www.minecraft/mods.com for some sweet mod packs. My personal favorite is "Too Many Items". It's like you're playing creative mode on survival.

Sincerely, Barack Obama