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Great Heavy

+rep crit mania

My chuwawa usually sleeps in the garage so i let him in there a few minutes ago forgetting that i had placed a few mouse traps in there. the dog is still relatively young and has testicles the size of tennis balls. I mean they are bigger htan his head. Apparently he was dragging those monsters to close to a trap and it snapped right on his nuts. He's really angry right now and won't let me get close enough to help. He already bit me really hard and im bleeding pretty bad. I tried shooting him with a horse tranquilizer dart but I missed and it blew out one of my car's tiresl, so i can't drive to hte vet or anything. My plan right now is to have my 4 yr old approach it from the front to distract the dog while i sneek up behind him and club him with a tire iron. does anybody else have a better idea?

absolute god and mute main