Professional Whiffer

3000 hours and still can't hit the broad side of a barn. My spray patterns create modern art that sells for millions.

Voice chat specialist with advanced expertise in creative excuses. "He's definitely cheating" and "64-tick servers" are my calling cards.

Collector of skins I can't afford. My inventory is worth more than my education. Still using default knife because I "don't care about cosmetics" (I'm broke).

Currently banned from playing with friends after the smoke grenade incident of 2024. They'll forgive me eventually.

Will trade AWP shots for someone who can actually entry frag. Smoke lineups memorized for maps I never play.

"Sometimes the real headshot was the teammates we flashed along the way."